Fishies and Kitties, Dead or Alive

Well, I've had a few adventures today. Just as well I don't have a gig tonight, I am not sure my poor nerves could stand it. Paul has made noises about dropping by later, but for now it's me, Blade 2 ( hey , like you've never been too tired to pick up the remote and change the channel ) and PASTA for dinner.

I bought some fish today at Wal-mart ( yes, yes, I know, but it is the only place within 50 miles that has fish ) these are the ( supposedly ) live little gold swimming kind.

I bought two bags, 6 fish each. Heck, at 28 cents each, such a bargain, and my Coffee Table Fish tank was down to one little fish, and Boss's tank was looking like it could use a few more. I held up the two bags and said, which bag do you want? He picked one, and I put them both in his tank, in their bags, one on each end, to keep them straight.

Two of mine promptly died. Floating on the bottom, little crosses for eyes. Dead. No saving them.

( I suppose they expired from the extreme disappointment of NEARLY belonging to a Scream Award Winning Rock Star Icon and instead learned they were going to live in a coffee table of a mere Assistant...Can't think why else they would up and die. Picky fish. )

Having no camera, I have found this image for you, so you can see the dead-ness:



Now , of course, we have to take the bag of four live fish and two dead ones BACK to Wall Mart. I had a funny feeling it was going to be a lot like talking to the cable company....

ME: Two of these fish seem to be rather, well, DEAD.

WALMART: You don't want them? You want to return the fish.

ME: Well, I got them an hour ago, and they are clearly dead, look closely, the floating on thier backs and the little X's they have for eyes are clear indication of a deceased state.

WALMART: What? So you don't want them.

ME: Well, four of them seem pretty happy, look, swimming, eyes open, cute little things, and as I haven't had time to get very attached , how bout you take them out, see to their burial and give me two live ones in exchange?

WALMART: I'll have to call someone, can you fill out this paper work?

I got 'em, but it took some work. Feeling good about my Superpowers, when she asked if she could do anything else for me, I said, I am having some trouble with my cable bill, can we straighten that out while we're at it...???

WALMART: What?

ME: Never mind, whimsy on my part.

That was going to be about it for my day and this Blog, but when I got home, my Misty-girl and Freaky Venus , mewing about , ( a Cat euphemism for Where the HELL is Our Supper?? ) I heard more mewing, crying in fact, coming from my deck.

There was a small orange Kitty, scared and hungry crying for help. He came to me, and I gave him a bowl of food, I'd never turn down any Kitty who came to me for food, and I noticed he was wearing a collar, which he had somehow gotten his front leg thru as well. It was in the process of working it's way into the area where the leg and shoulder are, think anatomy lesson!!!! You could smell the infection.

I got him in and cut it off and got it out. ( not my favourite thing ) and the tag was a Humane Society tag, so I called and got him over there as fast as I could, and when they looked him up, they started cheering saying It's Garfield!!! She found Garfield!!!!!!

Apparently, he got out the DAY he was adopted and his owners had been searching ever since. He was such a sweet Kitty, and I am glad he has a good home. ( tho the dangers of cat collars could use a little discussion, this Kitty would not have lived much longer )

Again, camera-less, I have to fall back , again, on this from Google Images of what Kitty might have looked like in another day:



That's about it. Lost two fish, but saved a cat.

It goes that way some days..

Love and Fishies and Kitties,
Lorraine

Charter a Handbasket, Straight to Hell...

Tried calling Charter again.

Started out trying to be business like, friendly, enlisting the help of whomever I spoke to. All I actually want to know is 1) why they added channels I don't get 2) if they have taken them off 3) why my bill has jumped nearly $20 , even after taking off the mystery channel charges and 4) how much I owe on my bill.

Ended up saying things like " well I know you can't help me out on any of this, but could we just chat for a while? You know, get to know each other , find out of we have anything in common "

Or, " what is it like in India, I hear it is lovely , I do a lot of Indian cooking myself, "

I am finding out that India generally " transfers " me, which means hanging up. The sales office tries to get me to add channels and, oddly enough, the tech support people will talk about anything, as long as I want to. Sort of like a really friendly chatline.

( tho the one time I DID have a tech problem, they invented a completely fabricated reason for it and it resulted in me losing my hard drive on the moxie, and all my programs, AND my cable for the ONE night I had to spend in my house that week. )

Charter does not have a direct line to the billing department. As far as I can tell , they have ONE number, with a solid 5 to 10 minutes in voice system and after which one is transferred to a completely random department.

IS there a billing department? I suspect if I don't PAY them , I will hear straight away, but that plays merry hell with the old credit rating....

IS there a company out there that will sell me cable, Internet and phone service and bill me only for what I order?

I am nearly thinking, well what the heck, my time is worth more than this, just pay it, which is , I strongly suspect, what they are hoping for.

And IS there a way we can take this national and actually get some serious press on the way Charter is doing business??? Hmmmm...

I may go on a crusade.

More on this as it develops. Or doesn't as the case may be.

Love and Fraud,
Lorraine

This is a new one for me.....

I have been having a most amusing time with Charter lately, since my last bill came in. They provide, in one easy statement , my Internet, cable, Tivo ( called Moxie ) telephone and long distance.

I could not help but noticing this month my bill had jumped about $40.

I noticed a charge for $12.33 cents for " a new movie channel " complete with partial month charge. Hmm..thinks I, I sure didn't add any movie channels. This is where is starts to get funny. ( DARN good thing my sense of humour is intact. )

I rang them up to discuss this event, and FINALLY got an actual person on the phone. ( note: very handy site www.gethuman.com/us , tells you the secret for avoiding voice system and getting a person )

The person spent quite a long time trying to figure out WHO I was and what my account was, and after some time, did say well, yes, you added another movie channel.

No, says I , I did not.

( more time goes by with much back and forth between us )

Finally he says, as if conferring a huge favour, ok, it was added in error, we will
take $10 off your bill.

Hmm..Says I, it seems to me that if you charge me $12.33 in error you will be taking off $12.33.

But the channel is only $10 says he.

WHY then am I charged $12.33, says I ????

( More back and forth )

Ok, says he, I'll take it all off, give me a break , it's Monday, I was just messing with you.

Huh????????

Ok says I, not to ruin your Monday, but my bill is the same every month $140 and with the $$12 in error off it is still quite a bit more than it ever has been. AH says he, your local taxes must have gone up...

By nearly $20???

Call# 2

( finally get a human )

Oh, I am cable repair, I will transfer you.

( HOW this happened I do not know .....)

Call# 3

Transfered to ( Indian accent and more back and forth ) No, sorry, not my department...

Call # 4

You wan HBO???? I get you HBO?? You wan HBO?????

I said, I am beginning to believe that it is Charters policy to intentionally de-fraud and deceive customers and that only those willing to put forth great amounts of time and effort are those that will receive a correct and accurate billing statement.

She said...You don want HBO??????

Stay tuned for further updates.....

I will leave you with a soothing picture of me and Venus tonight, as a little kitty is always good for keeping things in perspective....

Love and Not so Much Charter,
Lorraine

All about the Hot Birdchick

Sharon Stiteler , The Hot Birdchick and Beekeeper to the Stars, has a new book out!! Hurrah and Cheers all around!! It's called Disapproving Rabbits , which I think pretty much sums it up. Very , very funny. Go , you, and pick up a copy. In fact, especially if you are ordering it online, go ahead and buy five or six , because you WILL be wanting these to give out during the Holidays. Or sooner. Make someone happy. ( yes, Malena, one IS on it's way for you ! )

If you order thru the Disapproving Rabbits website, you can even request a personalized inscription from Sharon. ( Almost ) Anything you want. ( she has been telling me stories of some requests that nearly fall into the short story category, hee-hee )

If you order it from Amazon, or pick it up in a bookstore, and you can get to Minneapolis, our Hot BirdChick is having a release party at Dreamhaven Books on November 2nd, with an afters party at Charlie's Pub in Stillwater. ( music courtesy of yours truly and the Manly Paul Score )



As most of you know, Sharon is a Close Personal Friend of mine. I say it Close Personal Friend, because once you have shared the experience of dumping hundred of thousands of Bees into a hive together, and the even more harrowing experience of Bee in Hair , you ARE , forever more, Close Personal Friends.

She also once tried to pole dance on one of my speaker poles, on a New Years Eve, and another time at a Convention did the most truly interpretive dances ever danced , acting out ALL the parts , to the song El Paso ( who knew we knew it?? )

Whether you are hanging out, listening to music , birding, or tending bees , or reading her latest book Disapproving Rabbits, you are going to have a whole lot of fun, if it involves Sharon.

And you will be glad of it.

Love and Rabbits,
Lorraine