Fat vs. Ugly
At the movie the other night (it was about global peace and environmental awareness) I heard two old ladies RAILING on fat people. Of course, if I wasn't at a peace promoting movie, I would have let them have it. They went on and on about how disgusting fat people were and how they just couldn't understand how people could "let themselves look like that." Ohhhhh my blood was boiling and so was the big guy two seats down. Did they NOT notice him I wondered? Didn't they realise how rude and judgemental they were being?
Hm! I wanted to say so many things. One of which was, SOME PEOPLE AREN'T BORN WITH A DANCER BODY and that's OK you miserable old hags!! Thank goodness the peacemaker (Miles) was with me. He saved the lives of these old bittys from the wrath of MALENA's big mouth. There is NO reason to insult someone's size, creed or color. PERIOD, the end.
Let's look at this issue for a moment. People come in all shapes and sizes and they are beautiful. Example:
Would John Goodman, John Candy, Chris Farley, Sam Kinison, Rosie O'Donnell and Rosanne be as funny if they were skinny as a rail? NO! Part of their charm as actors is they are round, outspoken and cuddly. I for one, wouldn't like Dom DeLuise is he wasn't "fat". The same goes for natually thin people like Calista Flockhart who took enormous slack for being "anorexic", which she is NOT. Don't people have better things to do than rip on other people's size?
My goodness!
Some idiot chic at a party came up to me and said on how "heavy" I was and how bad it must make me feel to be such a " big girl" and how it must affect my acting career. (A size 7, at 5'10" is big in LA) America Ferrera is doing JUST FINE! I just laughed, REALLY LOUD AND HARD and said,
"Not as bad as it would feel to be a talentless, brainless bimbo like you!"
Everyone laughed and she didn't say a THING to me all night. Sometimes, MALENA just can't be stopped.
GIRL POWER! Can I get a woah woah!
posted by Malena @ 7:40 PM
22 Comments
22 Comments:
I can't believe someone actually had the nerve to say that to you. It's mind-boggling, especially since you're so powerfully gorgeous. Wow. Good one on the comeback, though.
Malena has more talent in half her brain than most people do in thier entire body.
You GO girl!!!!!!!!! Take 'em on!!!!!
Whoa whoa!!
Ha!!! I love you Malena, that was a great comeback!!
I cannot believe the crass of some people, good for you Malena!!!! put them ALL in their place. Healthy bodies are beautiful bodies, and thank god they come in all sizes, shapes and colors, makes the world a wonderful and rich place to live.
TAKE IT FROM ME, EVEN A DANCER ISN'T BORN WITH A DANCER'S BODY! And when I was a member one of America's major ballet company I was in the worst physical condition of my life! Okay, I was less than zero in body fat, but I had no breast, no female cycles and no self-esteem! It may strike some as odd but when I had to stop dancing due to an auto crash injury and socked on the pounds! At one time I was up to 150! At this time I got more male attention and was asked out more then when I was a skinny ballet dancer! One my ex-boyfriends who saw me stated when he saw me ;"I loved how you filled out! Why didn't you have those (a bustline) when we were together!" Beauty doesn't come JUST in a size zero!
Oh, I now weigh 112 and I still don't wear a size zero!
The really disgusting thing is that that thought process starts early. My 6 year old is in kindergarten, due to her birthday being after September 1st. I don't know if it has happened more than once or not, but once is enough. During recess at her school, they have the typical girls vs boys over possession of the jungle gym. At least once, my daughter - 4' 2 1/2" tall and 86 lbs. - was told by the other girls that she couldn't join them in the middle of the jungle gym because she was too fat.
You read that right. She's in KINDERGARTEN.
When my daughter told me, I didn't know what to say. I didn't let her know how much it upset me because if she gets upset when they call her "fat" that just gives the other girls something to use against her.
Maybe the appropriate response is, "And god loves you, too." With a beatific smile, of course.
The really disgusting thing is that that thought process starts early. My 6 year old is in kindergarten, due to her birthday being after September 1st. I don't know if it has happened more than once or not, but once is enough. During recess at her school, they have the typical girls vs boys over possession of the jungle gym. At least once, my daughter - 4' 2 1/2" tall and 86 lbs. - was told by the other girls that she couldn't join them in the middle of the jungle gym because she was too fat.
You read that right. She's in KINDERGARTEN.
When my daughter told me, I didn't know what to say. I didn't let her know how much it upset me because if she gets upset when they call her "fat" that just gives the other girls something to use against her.
Maybe the appropriate response is, "And god loves you, too." With a beatific smile, of course.
How incredibly insane. You, Malena, are one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen. I can only imagine that the idiot girl said what she said out of insane jealously of you!!! How ugly, in every sense of the word.
Which is why I told my daughter, now 18 and so lovely but with some nice curves, that she was beautiful EVERY day. And still do, via email while she's off at college. And told her big brothers that if they ever told her she was ugly, like my big brother did to me and my sisters, I would kill them with my bare hands. Why are women tormented about their looks, and why do women do it to other women??!! I don't understand . . .
But great comeback, Malena. You rock!
That type of negative attitude is especially scary for those who have children (and girls in particular). I stopped reading women's magazine because I was getign scared of the models they were showing in there (and I don't even have kids).
So off you go, Malena, dear and tell them exactly where to stick their piece of ignorance.
:)
Your reaction reminded me of the one I had last time some on whined to me about getting old (the girl was about 32, mind you)...
ariandalen,
Remind your daughter that the "popular" girls are always the first ones to get pregnant in high school and usually end up bagging groceries by the age of 20. Welll, I guess that's a little too much info for a Kindergartener, but tell her I was always teased for being FAT in school. Now, I go home and all those girls ARE waiting on me at Wal-Mart and bagging my groceries. They pretend to not know who I am so, I always make sure to say hello and remind them that we went to school together. (sweet as pie of course)*evil grin*
So, there IS peace at the end of the day when you are happy with yourself. It's too bad us girls have to wait so long for it. The media is changing. I plan to help it along too, but you knew that. muaaaaaaaaa ha ha haaaaaaaaaaa!
It is true that the most important thing is about feel good about yourself.
My mom was miserable as a teenager. She thought she was fat and when going to the beach never took a bathing suit so she would not have to show herself.
I looked at pictures of her at the time and she was SO beautiful. Shapely. And miserable.
She always made sure that I would not think bad of myself because of my curves.
Arian, my 3 daughters experienced the same type of negativity - and it is truly scary how early it starts! My 3, all extremely different in proportions, one tall and curvy, one small boned and slight, one very muscular, all had various negative comments directed at them thru out their school years. It is indeed a challenge to raise women in this society, ones with self esteem and positive body images. I was the heavy one in my family, and endlessly teased about it, and still struggle with self image issues. It can last a lifetime. Your love and guidance will carry your daughter thru, I have no doubt.
sigh. and apparently cannot remember from one day to the next how to sign in right. senility. my biggest fear. (come back memory come back)
For the record, SUE(ivenotime) is so beautiful. When I met her at Balticon, she looked like an ice skater. We all see ourselves very differently than the world sees us. When Lorraine is here, she always remarks on how "dressed" I am. (This is when I'm wearing yoga pants and a mismatched t-shirt) I tell her, "right back at cha!" Because she is wearing the same thing. HELLO!
But none of us ever THINK we look as good as we do. I for one, don't give a *#*# if people think I'm ugly or FAT. I gave up caring in 7th grade when my individuality was more important than having cheerleaders for friends. "Accept me as I am, or you don't have to look at me" That's my motto.
My husband was listening to NPR the other day where there was a piece on how women with big hips have, on average, higher intelligence. Evidently, omega 3 acids accumulate in the hips of developing female fetuses. Wide hips means more omega 3s were consumed by the mother, which also adds to higher intelligence. Fish as food really is brain food.
And for those of you with narrow hips, it's only an indication, not written in stone. :)
from this curvy girl over here,
never heard a SINGLE complaint from the men, by the way, they love something to grab onto.
thanks Malena, for your shout-out. people have no idea how cruel they can be.
Now, let's hear your review of BEOWULF!!! xxixixxoxo
everyone GO!
"I AM RIPPER*TEARER*SLASHER!!!
I....AM.........BEOWULF!!!!!"
WOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
i am SO excited! Best-movie-ever! QUICHE, what did YOU THINK>>!??!??!
Saw Beowulf tonight, you will have a post tomorrow, my oh my, wonderfrul, wonderful film!!!!
Fat VS ugly, indeed.
It saddens me, that ours is a society where the kinds of comments you report are common, even 'acceptable', and where so many of us have had these types of criticisms directed at us.
(I was wore a size 5 gown to my senior prom, and still I grew up being told I was fat because I was a cyclist rather than a jock, and that I was unattractive because I have always had a, um, noticeable ass, and men don't find that attractive.)
*frustrated sigh*
It's a sad state when normal-sized people are called "fat". Ye Gods, if a size 7 is fat in La-la land, they need a reality check (I know, it's make believe world). I have to assume that chick was jealous Malena. You are powerful gorgeous.
I don't fight my body type much any more- I'm (finally) old enough to know better and (again finally) wise enough not to invest much energy in it. I'm healthy and that's what counts.
Besides, I always remember what a wonderful friend told me "Face it Mary, you're built for comfort- not speed." :)
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That's incredibly heinous. Yeesh.
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