Monday, November 26, 2007

A Day Off... ( Sort of....)

My gig with Lojo was beyond wonderful and more fun than a basket of Kitties , but I am still tired, two nights of full on entertainment, improv ( both with comedy and the music, we hardly know any of each others songs ) complete with a full moon ( so, yeah, we were pretty crazed, nowhere near Malena-crazed tho, that girl does NOT mess around on the full moon. I would tell you what she turns into but you wouldn't believe me and then she would have to kill me. Some things must remain secret... )

SO last night, being the walking dead anyway, my friend Jen and I ( she came to the show and seemed to enjoy it ) decided to dress up as Vampires and make Indian food and watch Underworld ( hey, Kate Beckinsale in leather, with guns, as a Vampire??? Who cares about PLOT for goodness sake??? )

All very fun, except it took me a while to DRESS and all, and Freaky Venus Seaweed is onto the fact that when I spend that much time in front of the mirror, I am going OUT. Not cool in Freaky's little brain. She may not pay any attention to ME while I am here sometimes, but I really OUGHT to be available to her at all times.

( cats SO look down on dogs with an air of complete superiority, with good reason )

She devised a most thorough retribution.

Now, occasionally she will take down a roll of toilet paper, ( she doesn't trust it, they can be sneaky ) or take all my contact lens wrappers out of the trash and chase them around the house ( they can be fast when they get going ) or knock down all the skeletons in my Halloween town ( hey, I can understand that, who wouldn't ? ) but last night, while I was out haunting , she got INTO the cupboard, took out ALL the rolls of paper towels, ( I think there were four ) and shredded them within an inch of their poor little lives. ( and remember , this Evil Bengal has Softpaws covers on her claws )

I called the police on her.

See if I bail her Kitty Butt out of jail. I am still picking the stuff up. ( no, my camera battery is NOT here yet, sigh. )

Now today , I heard from the Police that they are considering sueing me for the cost of the Hospital Bills resulting from the fact that Venus strongly resisted arrest and sent three Officers to intensive care.....

Sigh.

There you have it. Now you know. A Day Off in the Life of a Personal Assistant and Entertainer.

Love and Evil Kitties,
Lorraine

11 Comments:

At 3:35 PM , Blogger Rubius said...

I must agree... who needs plot when there are Vampires and that much leather??? I have been on a vampire kick lately... Vampire music (HIM and music vids on youtube with clips from Underworld, Dracula, etc, I seem to have built up quite a collection of VHD vids), Vampire movies (Vampire Hunter D, the original and Bloodlust, Van Hellsing, etc), Vampire books (Buffy, ok so sue me, it isn't quite as vampy as I would prefer but I ran out of VHD books, and finished all the others on my and my friend's shelves) and as much Vampire TV as I can get (Buffy, Hellsing, Angel) ... I am sure you get the picture. .. but Malena is still my favourite creature of the night.

I hope you feel rested soon.

Have fun with the Seaweed!!

 
At 4:07 PM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Malena is the very very best Creature of the Night who has ever, uh, lived. There sure aren't two of her.

Evil Kity is sitting in front of me as I type this, having escaped from jail, chewing her Softpaws off. Every bit of her face says...

You . Are. Next.

I am alone here and fear for my ...ahhhrrggghhhh....

cfjew066759ew85ge78w9g578w9

lorraine can't come to the computer now. you can talk with me.........

 
At 7:28 PM , Blogger ariandalen said...

Venus, dear, you really want to release Ms. Fabulous. She feeds you. She keeps you in a nice, warm house. Because of her, lots of people think you are a beautiful feline.

Besides, you don't really want a dragon coming to her rescue, do you?

:)

 
At 7:43 PM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

who says what says dragon?????????

 
At 7:58 PM , Blogger Rubius said...

Lamie would like to add that if you don't let Lorraine out once in a while then you won't get the freshest catnipzes!!

 
At 11:05 PM , Blogger tuaregblue said...

This seems rather appropriate:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GmwqpHsMExg

 
At 11:25 PM , Blogger spacedlaw said...

So miss Venus is throwing tantrum? Well, her name sake wasn't particularly known for having a meek character either and she cetainly hated being upstaged so I can understand where she gets it from.
And she TPed your house form the inside, which is fairly orginal. A creative pest. Maybe we could join efforts and send both your Venus and my Microbe away on a tropical island, where they can attack retreating waves and do a feral version of that Blue Lagoon story?
Only with more claws to it...
(who would have thought seaweeds could be that dangerous?)

 
At 11:30 AM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Very funny vid and all too true!!!!!

I think the MOON might be a perfect place to send these kitties......

Of course Venus is lying on my lap right now , doing " Cute " I am not fooled tho.....

The Seaweed portion of her name came from the video shoot we did this summer , I so hated walking in the stuff!!!! And the Kimbo ( our director ) said I should add that. The Venus bit comes from my Boss who said " you should name her Venus because that is where she looks like she comes from "

And the " Freaky " for obvious reasns.....

 
At 11:54 AM , Blogger Malena said...

Freaky? Yeah that's me. And the Venus part. I'll claim the Venus darlinG!

 
At 9:41 PM , Blogger Yoga Gal said...

When was the last time your boss visited Venus to know what the natives and their creatures look like?

 
At 7:08 PM , Blogger Dan Guy said...

Hey, that movie has a plot! The plot is: "Kate Beckinsale in leather, with guns, as a vampire!!!!!!" One of my favorite, classic, archetypal plots.

 

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