Decided I ought to Run For President. Please Vote For Me.

I don't care who you voted for today, or even if you live in this country. I know it is kind of late in the game to be coming forward with this, and this is SO an A-political blog but I would like to tell you all of the reasons, that I, Fabulous Lorraine, would in fact, be a better President. I have some ideas, that might well change the world, if you would do me the kindness of listening....

1. Let's start with the big one (or one of them anyway) War. In the Middle East, Iraq, anywhere. My Cabinet is going to be composed of some really tough, kick ass artistic Moms. I will send them over, or go myself if needed and give both sides a Big Fat Time Out. You! Sit over there. You, in your room. I am SO setting the timer, and then we will talk about why hitting, biting, kicking and screaming are NOT ALOUD. We will settle this, and you are going to get along.

Now apologise, give me a hug, and let's move on.

2. THINK people. It is not that hard. Steve Brust said it best in a song from Rose for Iconoclasts.."War is bad; peace is good; never use plastic when you can use wood; be kind to strangers; give good jobs to vets; recycle glass bottles; spay/neuter your pets." It ain't rocket science.

Go Green. We only have this one planet. At the moment. We may find another, but hey, let's hedge our bets and save this one. Just in case.

3. Abortion. Ok, guys, leave the room. Once you can grow a baby in your tummy, come back and we will talk. In fact, if men could get pregnant would this even BE an issue? Can you imagine the men of this world letting anyone tell them what they can and cannot do with their bodies????

Ladies, grab some coffee, and let's figure out how to prevent un-wanted pregnancy.

4. Gay marriage? Hello? No brainer. Why is this an issue that ought to be decided by the majority? as I recall my history, at one point in this country the majority of peope did not think women had the right to vote. Let's go further, at one point in this country the majority of people in this country thought black people were second class citizens,and did not have the same rights as white people. Hmm, at one point in history, the majority of people in this country thought owning slaves was ok.

Nuff said. Marriage is a civil union between two people. Any "moral" issues are your own personal thing. Find a church that believes as you do and get your blessing there.

5. The election. How about a third option? None of the above, if that wins, start again, This is not a job that should be given to anyone who wants it. And WHAT is UP with the billions spent on campaigns? Let's try this. You get a website. Blog. About what YOU believe in, not your opponent. The millions are going to Humane Society's and Rescue Groups. And maybe send some kids to college, and feed some families, fund some art.

6. Drunk Driving. In Sweden the penalty is loss of licence forever and a year in jail. In some other countries, death by firing squad. Both countries do not get many repeat offenders. And have a far, far lower rate of first timers.

7. Health care. Well I watch a lot of TV shows. It seems the current system where millions of people simply show up at the last minute in the ER is working just fine. And 40% of the people in this country being obese? Well, not so bad, another 40% are simply over weight. The remain 20% is split between people who are at a good weight and those anorexic people who live in LA and want to be in movies.

8. Drugs. Well, I remember the days when pot was illegal and not even available for medical use. SO funny. As for the rest, it is good that the focus has shifted to getting people help and not overcrowding jails with drug users.

9. Religion. Not our governments business. Don't all religions pretty much say the same thing? And remember the texts you are quoting were not sent down by whomever as a PDF. They were told as stories for many, many years before they were ever written down, and translated...POSSIBLY might things have been altered from "Hey, be good,love each other?"

10. Do Something Good. Make your part of the world better. What if everyone did? Think about it. It should not be THEM who is running this country, It is US. Each of us.

Anyway, that's my platform. Not sure if I will win tonight, but I know I could, with you Fiends, change some things around.

Love and politics,
Lorraine