Saturday, September 29, 2007

Late night gigs and news....

This has been rather a long day and now, don't you know it, I am wide awake, so I will tell you the tale...

This morning was spent mostly cleaning closets , and the afternoon cleaning closets while trying to convince Dog that thunder was not actually something that was most assuredly going to kill him, me and perhaps wipe out the world. ( Dog take thunder VERY seriously ) His total concept on how to deal with this and save ourselves at least, is that we need to run to the car and GO SOMEWHERE.

I don't think Dog thinks these things thru very well.

Tonight I had a Paul and Lorraine gig in a wee town a couple hours away. I am always of two minds ( which is good for me, half the time I barely have one ) on whether or not to take gigs at this place. They love having us , but don't much pay attention, so it's kind of background and it's really far away, but on the plus side, they get every sort of person in there, and they all get along famously. Bikers, very drunk groups of friends, the guy in full hunting gear ( we're talking tally ho off to the hounds on a horse hunter , not an orange shoot the deer hunter, but I am sure they would be welcome too ) Every sort. It's sort of lovely really.

Then the BUS pulls up.

I fear the BUS. Large groups of guys who need a BUS to get to a bar are not site seeing. They are drunk. ( don't get me wrong, bus is WAY better than them driving ) but in most places the will be rowdy, rude and off again. Nope not here. Nice as can be ( tho, yeah, drunk ) and they mixed and mingled with all the locals and everyone had a great time. Weird show. Again, just don't know.

On break I snagged a copy of the local paper and went to my favorite section of any local paper. Oh yes, Police Beat. That's where they list crimes of the past week. There was one in there ( always is ) that I think deserves a little discussion.

" A man was arrested Wednesday for shoplifting a vacuum and possession of heroin "

Ok. Let's take this point by point.

First off, HOW does one shoplift a vacuum ? I mean, do you plug it in by the door and sort of vacuum your way on out? Do you put a wig on it, pop on a pair of sunglasses and call it your Cousin It? I know people will shoplift a variety of things, but doesn't a vacuum seem sort of ambitious ?

Secondly, if one was going to make a try for the vacuum, uh, you bring your heroin along? I can see it, he makes his plan, he is all ready, he is going to Get This Vacuum, and then, nearly out the door, WHOA! What if I need to shoot a little heroin before I get the job done?? Better grab a some, just in case....

I know junkies are not the brightest bulb in the marquee, but say they are in the midst of a good old nod session, high as a kite, I don't think the first thought that comes to them is " Hey, this place could sure use a little tidying up, well first things first, let's go out and steal a vacuum "

We are going to skip the entire obvious point,( sorry guys,) WHAT is a MAN doing needing a vacuum that badly?? I suppose his wife could have told him, you get out there and find one and don't come back until you do, just take your heroin along in case you need some before you find one????

I had a lot of time to ponder this on the drive home.

There's a story here. I'm sure of it.

I'll leave you with this Goodnight Picture ( tho I am going on record as saying dogs do not pose any better than cats for photobooth, which is to say NOT )

Love and more,
Lorraine


______________________________________
Malena here! Just wanted to add that I too am cleaning out my closet. Miles and I have to make room for the costumes and props he brings home. Here's a link in case any of you want anything from eBay.
The autumn leaves are starting to turn yellow now. I am finally realizing it IS fall. I can't wait until it gets cooler. I love boots and jackets and hats. (I'm itching to go to Minneapolis)It's an excuse to wear vintage fur AND see The Fabulous Lorraine. Fablo and I like to save dead things in vintage shops. I freeze when I go visit, but it's so worth it. It's a different world out here. When I leave LA, I am no longer the "heavy girl". It's great for the ole' self esteem.
I have lots to tell you. When my filming schedule slows down (yeah right) I will tell you all about it. Did any of you watch Moonlight? If so, didn't you LOVE IT?

Love and fluffy cuddly things

Madame M

14 Comments:

At 1:51 AM , Blogger Rubius said...

I am glad you survived your gig. Thanks for the pic. I like your sly smile.

I have wind and rain but I am not sure about the thunder.

 
At 2:49 AM , Blogger spacedlaw said...

Hey Dog seems calm enough in the pic!
:)

I suppose a vacuum would be the ideal cocaine smuggling tool - bit bulky but...
Yup. A story.

 
At 8:08 AM , Blogger Maureen said...

As someone who has just boxed up a vacuum for shipping, I can attest to the fact that yes, sneaking one out of a shop would be tricky to pull off.

As for the heroin, yeah, it would seem that any action-oriented ideas (including shopping, shoplifting, whatever) would be low on the to-do list. Cocaine maybe. Alcohol definitely (I've seen guys come up with some *very* strange ideas for fun while drunk, including wheelchair races in an airport).

Poor Cabal. He's such a large, brave-looking fella that it's funny to think that thunder spooks him. Jack & Robin sleep through it, though Robin dislikes going out after rain and getting his feet wet.

 
At 9:04 AM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Sly smile , eh? More like " We are getting out the hamburger and getting a pic of me and this Dog" ! kind of smile...

He is calm here, but there was no thunder when I got home...Looking at the radar tho, there is a whole lot of BOOM on the way this morning.

Cabal is a fine brave fellow and I adore him, heck, he is 90% of my social life at this point, while Boss is traveling, I talk to him all the time. It's only recently that I have become worried about this , as he is now answering back and venturing opinions of his own, assistant wise. He will replace me yet...

Yeah, alcohol, I can see where that idea might sound good. Might need a LOT of it tho, hee-hee....

 
At 9:54 AM , Blogger Rubius said...

I heard that a few crazy people stole a canoe once by just walking into the department store and walking out... who would ask? Excuse me sirs, is that YOUR canoe you are leaving with?

maybe it was the same with the vacuum and the guy figured, 'maybe they just won't ask.'

don't worry about the dog stealing your job, I expect he won't be interested in the typing and tea-making portion, and after all, you are the Queen of No!! Cabal couldn't take that from you.

 
At 11:26 AM , Blogger Glen said...

I think you are missing the obvious element. Once you've taken part of the heroin, you might think you can get away with something - but you'll obviously fail, and get arrested.


Love the pic.

 
At 4:13 PM , Blogger Yoga Gal said...

Love reading about your gigs and details about the clentele was just too amusing for words! It's so sweet of you to reassure the hound the lightening would hurt him. But girlfriend, what were you thinking when you pose for that shot? You have the most sexy, devilish smile on your face! Great photo. Oh, who do you want to win on "Top Chef"?

 
At 9:26 PM , Blogger LaM said...

I added to the blog. Yes, Fablo does look sexy. She's quite photogenic you know! I'm her makeup diva and she's my lab rat. Did you know she is her best as a stnd up comedian? No music needed with that girl. I just stand and wait to sing while she gets the crowd rilled up!

 
At 9:55 PM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Sexy Little Lab Rat I am, after you get done with me anyway, Malena. I'm not sure that look last night quite qualifies tho as sexy. Rat yes.

( Oh I am funny )

Now SHE can sing, I make people laugh ( sometimes even on purpose! ) but man oh man, can that girl SING! Sure would love to play with her again!

( now, if this were a novel, I would call all this Foreshadowing, but we know nothing yet, we can only hope, keep yr fingers crossed! )

 
At 10:12 PM , Blogger Rubius said...

eeehehehehehehehehe

the divine pair!!

 
At 8:23 AM , Blogger scored4life said...

My theory on the vacuum is that after the party the keen fellow thinks, “I bet there is about a gram of coke in this carpet…. Now how could I get it out of there without smoking it?”

It was one heck of a weekend and playing with Lorraine is always one of my favorite parts, even if the crowd is not hanging on our every word. Creating the music still eases my troubled soul.

I’m glad to hear that things are going so well for you Malena, Say hello to Miles for me and with any luck I’ll get a chance to talk with you soon.

It looks as if Dog may have some respite for a time. And I know you said you were having a bad hair day (rat) but think of it this way… maybe it wasn’t your hair that was having the bad day! Hmmmm. Hehe.. Gotta run and do the work thing!

 
At 3:09 PM , Blogger Malena said...

SpacedLaw won my red leather jacket on ebay! Yeah!
Yes, Fablo and I are PRAYING for a concert soon!

 
At 2:52 PM , Blogger marebare said...

LOL, Heroin & vaccuums? I wonder if it makes you work faster! muahaha,
You and white wonder look dashing!
Malena, you missed very much! wish I knew how to post a pic of my fuzzball, hes adorable.

 
At 4:52 PM , Blogger Dan Guy said...

Hearing about your awesome gigs always gives me a vicarious thrill.

 

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