Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Starting out with not much and ending up really interesting...

At some point, I will no doubt get back to talking about music, and books and truly exciting things, but sadly, no not today. Tho I am of the opinion that just because nothing is going on and I am stuck in the country ( instead of attending movie premiers and touring around with Duran Duran, and writing best selling Werewolf novels and hanging in Tasmania like my more exciting friends ) with all these animals, that is no reason not to tell you all about it.

Cabel did well yesterday. He didn't exactly admit that Zoe isn't so bad and, really, he does love her, but, hey, he didn't kill her. Progress I say. He obeyed, but QUIVERED the whole time as if to say "LOOK IT IS A CAT I CAN KILL IT FOR YOU! YOU ARE SO WEIRD WHY ARE YOU STOPPING ME!"

He also did very very well in his Canine Good Citizen class. Then prom ply came home and chased a herd of deer across the road, across the field, thru the woods....I could not leave this Doofus to his own romping, as it was getting DARK and there is the road and all, so I spent the better part of an hour and a half hiking in the dark, calling him.

Had to laugh tho, when he finally came back he had the biggest grin on his dog face and said" H there you are! Isn't this the BEST???"

Oh.

No.

Merry Housekeeper just rang my doorbell. And handed me a SLIP from the post office.

She is generally most willing to pick up most packages but this slip says simply....

BEES HERE.

No. Says she.

Ok. I can do this. Go to the post office and pick up three boxes of Bees.

Call the Birdchick. Birdchick is banding birds somewhere in Minnesota.

What next? Tea. Clearly a cup of tea. No Milk. Ok.

Nice neighbours next door do things like go to the grocery store, I am sure of it. They will have milk. Excellent. Now I have tea.

(Meanwhile, Merry Housekeeper, unable to restrain herself, has dusted the entire first floor of my house and has moved on to vacuuming, while waiting for me to get my act together. Cool.)

Back to Bees.

I do love my job and truly, but I can't help but wonder how many Personal Assistants to Serious Talent out there are called upon to do things like, Go To The Post Office and Pick Up Bees.....

To be continued...

Love and Bees,
Lorraine

40 Comments:

At 8:54 AM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Since Boss is in Tasmania and The Birdchick is out of reach, I am combing the internet for What Should I do WIth These Bees, and the first thing that came up on Google was THIS...

http://www.angelfire.com/tn/plath/arrival.html

Useful. Truly.

I am home with them, and they are in the garage, currently, with only minor escapes...

 
At 8:55 AM , Blogger spacedlaw said...

Beats picking up dead fish from the supermarket, like you did last year.
Oh boy. And I thought I had plenty of animal excitement.

Cheer up! You might be living inthe country but at least you are safe from mad rocket engineers! That HAS to count for something. Hasn't it?

 
At 9:11 AM , OpenID pantagruel said...

I think writing about animals is perfectly fine, and glamorous in its own way. A very subtle way, but still, there is some glamour attached to it. It sounds idyllic.

Hmm, Plath's idea about turning into a tree might come in handy with the bees if there's a mass escape from the garage. ;)

Cabal's at the quivering stage! A big improvement. :) Running off to go chase deer actually sounds like quite a bit of fun at the moment.

 
At 9:16 AM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Spacelaw just found a new Way Too Cute Kitten, which she thinks she is going to find a home for.

Heh.

Wasn't that funny? I need to save that one....The Bee Poem. I still need some handy info tho...

I am leaving the Bees for a bit, to buzz away in their boxes, (so far the escapees seem happy to crawl around on the outside of the box), and work with Cabel and the Cat....

 
At 9:18 AM , Blogger spacedlaw said...

I suppose it was that same idiotic herd of deers that you showed me when we were there? The suicidal ones?

Our new yet unamed crumb of a cat is quite vocal... I think I shall call him Brian and give him a guitar.

 
At 10:53 AM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

All deers are idiots. Morons, the lot of them.

The Birdchick says I must spray the bees with Sugar Water. Apparently, they enjoy this.

Speaking of enjoying, I know this is going to sound like REALLY bad porn, but for the Dog and Cat Meeting this morning, I put the Dog in his Muzzle and Harness, and then he got to get close to the Cat, and sniff her butt and when he lunged at her, I took him down and kept my hand on his neck until he submitted.

Weird job.

 
At 10:58 AM , Blogger Rubius said...

LOVE Plath... Thank you for that.

YOUR life is pretty exciting... compared to most. Have you seen the news lately? There is great fun in the news lately... flying pigs... ballooning priests... these are Great stories.

Sorry to hear about the trek around the property to find Cabal. What a Doofus indeed.

 
At 11:20 AM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Our own Miss Kitty spent last week with that Flying Pig, she blogs about it at

http://furrytiger.blogspot.com/

The entry before the current one, pre-destruction pics and all.....

I don't know how exciting my life really is. It's all in how you tell the story. Life is a series of events, the quality of which, you determine.

Gods, I am wise.

 
At 11:35 AM , OpenID pantagruel said...

No, bad porn would have more adjectives in it. And misspellings of body parts. And exclamation points.

 
At 11:59 AM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Well, now we know a little more about you , Pantagruel , hee-hee, I didn't know that about bad Porn....

 
At 1:00 PM , Blogger EmilyLady said...

Seriously? Bees can be mailed? BEES?

~Emily

 
At 1:13 PM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

 
At 1:14 PM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Yup. Bees can be mailed.

Would you like some? I gots lots.

 
At 1:20 PM , Blogger ivenotime said...

Deers are idiots and as bad as turkeys - do you have turkeys up your way Lorraine? cabal probably had a ball running them off the property, the naughty thing. Does he respond to whistles? We use a whistle for Extreme Naughty You Are Running On The Road Get Your Butt Back Here NOW. sometimes works! spacedlaw - new kitty? I have to ck your blog - did you post a photo of the wee bit? And picking up bees? eep, that would umm make me extremely nervous - did you wear the bee suit? How did the post office respond? Yeah, I do sometimes envy Kitty's job - I know she works Very hard, but it do seem glamorous! (well, with the exception of bees and dead fish, yours' does too! :)

 
At 1:26 PM , OpenID pantagruel said...

Well, when people find out I went to grad school for writing, you'd be amazed at what of their writing they inflict on me! Actually, no, *you*, out of everyone on the planet would totally NOT be amazed. This is what happens to me:

Guy: Oh, you're a writer? Can I show you my work sometime and get your feedback?

Me, trying to be polite: Um, sure.

Guy: *hands me his writing*

Me: *reads. shudders. demotes Guy to Creepy Whackjob Guy Who Is Hitting On Me.*

Guy: What'd you think?

Me: I think you should take an anatomy class. And never pick up another adjective again upon pain of death. And to answer the question you *want* to ask but don't have the guts to -- No. You're never seeing me naked.

Sigh.

 
At 2:44 PM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

The best answer to " WIll you look at my work and tell me what you think" is simply this:

"Yes, but you won't like what I have to say"

Got that from Jane Yolen , unless the person IS a writer, mostly you are NOT going to be saying WOW HOW COOL. I have to do it all the time.

Cabal won't listen once the prey drive kicks in, sadly.

I did not in fact wear the bee suit, I felt very brave. They did laugh at me quite a bit about the bees, and a women came in , saw it, did a double take and said ...

" WHAT THE %&^#!"

 
At 2:57 PM , OpenID pantagruel said...

Ooh, I like that. Damn useful.

 
At 4:09 PM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Oh, I meant to ask, a couple of you mentioned you really liked Plath. Is this a poet everyone knows but me? Do tell, I sure did like that poem....

 
At 5:01 PM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Oh. SYLVIA Plath. That Plath.

I was reading the poem again, and thinking about how perfect it was, and slightly irritated because I wanted to write something about Arrival of the Bee Box and knew that the most perfect poem about it had already been written and knew I could not do better.

It was only when I did some google-ing that I figured out who had written it and that I could not write her and tell her how perfect it was as she had died before I was born.

For some reason this makes me a little sad.

 
At 5:22 PM , Blogger Yoga Gal said...

Lorraine, someone has to keep the homefires burnning so to speak. Besides your animal and bee adventures sound very interesting indeed. And you also are very gifted and talented. You are very blessed. All poems of S. Plath depress me.

 
At 5:52 PM , Blogger merryhousekeeper said...

Fablo, you were awesome today, Queen Bee and Alpha dog!! I will never forget the look on that womans face when she walked in and realized the hummm was boxes of LIVE BEESS!!! LOL I LOVE MY JOB!! and quite glad of yours too!!

 
At 5:56 PM , Blogger Maureen said...

I truly sympathize with having to deal with a dog with a strong prey drive. I'm fortunate in that mine is a wee tiny dog and the yard is fenced. But yes, the "I chased things and they ran and wasn't that COOL!?!" look is one I know well.

How did the local PO handle the bee delivery? Were they very happy when you arrived to take them away?

 
At 6:12 PM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Merry Housekeeper, you were very brave too! (she is going with us tomorrow to be Covered in Bees!)

The post office entered into the spirit of the thing...They thought it great fun, I mean, hey Boxes of Bees, which of course can't be enclosed, but have to be open on the sides with screen.

Not sure how to deal with this prey drive thing, it may not work, and I hate to fail....

 
At 6:56 PM , Blogger Malena said...

When I come out there I want to wear the bee suit.

 
At 7:06 PM , Blogger ivenotime said...

How about the magic big treat which lives in your pocket for cabal? I always have one in my pocket and if the whistle doesn't work (works for squirrels and turkeys, but not the neighbor's dog) i bellow TREAT and wave the stupid thing frantically. I hope i am NEVER caught on tape. usually treat is a hotdog. big, visible and smelly. but i only give him a bit, and throw the rest in the fridge til the next excursion. Good luck tomorrow all of you with the bees!

 
At 7:09 PM , Blogger merryhousekeeper said...

Malena in bee suit!?? Whoot Whoot! get your camera ready Fablo! heehee, I am so excited (and terrifed) I shall sleep and dream of being covered in bees... as for dog and prey... we will keep working on that one, consitancy, just like with kids, um right...?
Sweet dreams all.

 
At 7:27 PM , Blogger Maureen said...

Malena + Bee Suit = me thinking someone should design a corseted bee suit. It would surely be a fashion first (and definitely more figure flattering that what I've seen of regular bee suits).

I'm hoping to curb the prey drive in Jack. It's cute when he chases a squirrel or the other dog, but recently we've had the World's Biggest Raccoon hanging around (I'm guessing a 30 pound critter) and Jack's enthusiasm for chasing things is much larger than his common sense. Jack is 4 pounds on a fat day.

 
At 10:06 PM , Blogger spacedlaw said...

Considering that Cabal sometimes end up trying to chase Skunks, getting some control over the hunting instingct could be usefull for all parties involved. But it iIS an instinct so can't really be completely done away with.

About this writing stuff...
There are even mad people who actually ASK to see the would-be-writer's things. Boggles me at times.
Adoption poster for kitty is up at both blogger and LJ.

 
At 11:32 PM , Blogger Rubius said...

My best advice is try to catch him just before he takes off. When you see he is about to run/attack you tell him 'no, heel' ... reinforce your control (alpha-bitch status) and distract him from running by displaying your displeasure of his intent to attack... then explain it all again firmly whenever he exhibits the tendency to attack.

When he obeys properly you reward him. If you reward him after he has exhibited bad behavior or failed to listen it might just increase the behavior.

Of course this is what I try to enforce upon my CAT, not dog, and it is much easier to see when she is about to attack because cats do that tense-up-butt-wiggle thing that is so cute.. Although no one in their right mind could ever think they can control a cat, I growl or say no (turning the o into a low growl) or hiss quietly at my cat when she displeases me and she takes the hint most of the time. She likes to test her limit by ignoring my noises of growing displeasure, when she is creeping up on a squirrel for example, but she usually stops before attacking when I explain it in hiss-form.

Although she listens to her name at most other times she will completely ignore human speech if she is stalking prey.

Sylvia Plath is particularly depressing but her writing is fascinating... have you heard her read her poems? Shiver. There are a number available on youtube.

 
At 11:44 PM , OpenID kali-licious said...

Lorraine you went without the bee suit? You are one BRAVE lady.

And the Plath poem was really perfect..I need to go back and re-read some of her stuff.

Maybe all of Cabal's pent up urge to chase that you foiled with the cat just exploded once he saw the deer? Or maybe he's just a big Doofus. I hope you can get a handle on that behavior though..deer aren't smart but they pack a mighty wallop.

Malena in a bee suit? But-but..that means no accessories!;) Pictures definitely should be taken.

Spacedlaw that is an adorable little guy..such eyes!

 
At 7:46 AM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Good advice all.

I am just awake, have had to teo and must get to work. It is Bee Day. Exepect a full report tonight. There will be LOTS of pics and vid too (non Birding Bill is making a vid of it)

I would speak further, but I am late and sleepy and my mind has fixed on Malena in a Bee Suit.

Oh Yeah.

We need some Malena Covered in Bees!

 
At 12:36 PM , Blogger Malena said...

Sign me up man! It's no different than my usual snakes and spiders. I got over my fear of bees years ago. So, I'm ready.

Surfing in shark infested waters? No! Bees? Oh yeah. Land is good!

 
At 1:11 PM , Blogger Rubius said...

while we are on advice...

you know Lorraine, when you obey the bengals' request and get up to feed them right away after they have peed upon you, you are just reinforcing their belief that you are their feeding-slave and that pee=results=food. Next time they pee on you fold them into the blankets they peed upon as punishment (make them clean it off of themselves... they HATE that) and don't feed them right away or they will keep doing it.

I have found that with cats the lesson has to be learned in the first few times they do it otherwise it becomes a habit for life and almost impossible to break.

Malena in a bee-suit... would be bee-dazzling.. yes?

Have fun with your insectizoids.

 
At 1:57 PM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

I am their slave.

Back to the Bees. Who don't obey me either.

 
At 12:37 AM , Blogger spacedlaw said...

Weren't we promised a bee post?
Or have I hallucinated that one?

 
At 7:15 AM , Blogger Kitty Cat said...

oooh new bees, new bees & new bees.
please say hello to them, and i am counting days til i get t come there.....i want to meet the queens....
love from the road, this tour is going beautifully, and the guys couldn't be sweeter...
xoxoxo

 
At 7:44 AM , Blogger Dan Guy said...

Which do you expect would be easier to train to obey you: bees or bengals?

 
At 8:16 AM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Bee post soon, fell asleep last night early...

Kitty, you will meet the bees, and if we can find the Queens, you can meet them.

Bees. Bengals will not be trained. Mim is sitting on my HEAD as I type this.

Ok, Tea, work, do new blog.

 
At 9:14 AM , Blogger ivenotime said...

New Hives! Sharon posted alot on the bee operations (birdchick blog) - you look so professional! And Kitty, I think you should pack me, Lorraine and others in your suitcase - glad tour is going well.

 
At 9:38 AM , Blogger spacedlaw said...

Seems that Mims is fully recovered from her operation!
Looking forward to the bee post (but tea has priority).

 

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