Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Birds, Bees and Blood

What a day. Earlier today I was covered in Bees. Now I am covered in Blood. But I jump ahead....

Before we even got to the bees, The Birdchick and I found an Oriole in the garage! He did not seem inclined to fly OUT, and indeed, sat happily with the bee supplies. She was able to catch him, and he sang quite happily in her hands. And, she, being a good sport and knowing I do love Orioles, let me hold him. I am posting the picture as much so you can see the nice bird, but also so you can see the new heights I have achieved with hair-styling. Yes, people, hours of work every morning before I nip into work, both on the hair and makeup. It is also a rare photo of me in PINK.



We did the Bee Things, The New Queen Kitty arrived and was installed in her hive. A full report is up, or will be shortly, over at the Birdchicks Blog. I just do the colour commentary.

But here I am, as you can see, Covered In Bees!



Keep in mind here that there is also a fair amount of Assistanting going on and one switches from learning new skills regarding the Birds and The Bees to hoping one has the skills to outwit the never ending e-mail and three phone lines and evil airlines all in moments.

Things did not, however, get exciting today until I got home.

(Ominous Silence.)

I went to greet and feed Jungle Loves 1 and 2, and found that Jungle Love 2 had dug INTO the wall, removed the heating grate and is now somewhere in the duct system of the Spooky House. I had no idea this was possible, but it seems like if it could be done, a Bengal would do it.

Fortunately, Jungle Love 1 is too FAT to get down. She had another escape plan. She bolted past me and out into the house. I trapped her in the sun room. Mim in there too and shut the door. She ran screaming and yowling and running around the room, Mim sat on the fireplace and screamed, Venus, on the other side of the door, screamed and threw herself against the doors.

I tried to remain calm.

I cold not pick her up, she is the strongest cat I have ever seem and fought like the Demon she is. I got a towel, and she got me with her remaining back claws. Both arms, bloodied and painful.

I did not feel like doing any force holding when I finally got her in the towel.

I took the struggling mess back into the room, and went and wrote the Rescue Group for advice. SO far nothing helpful. Sitting in the room with food out until she comes out and then b;ocking the grate MAY work, but I am pretty sure she can out-wait me.

And oh, just to end on a positive note, the keyboard I took from my old IMAC seems to work fine.

Love, Birds, Bees and Blood,
Lorraine

42 Comments:

At 7:23 PM , Blogger EmilyLady said...

If I ever find myself bored with life I'll have to remember to get at least a couple of cats.

What a treat to be so close to an oriole. Did he sing?

~Emily

 
At 7:31 PM , Blogger Stacey said...

My sister-in-law had two bengals. One of them ended up digging a hole in the ceiling when they were away for two days. Yes, the ceiling. The only way he could have gotten up there is to scale the really rough brick that was the exterior of the fireplace.

He was in the ceiling for over a week. He did eventually come back down. It was weird.

 
At 7:32 PM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Emily, I have two purebred Bengals avaiable for adoption. Sweet kitties. Nice kitties. If I can ever get the one out of the duct work , you can have them.

Buy safety gear. Get health insurance.

He did sing, the Birdchick has video of it, go read her blog.... www.birdchick.com

 
At 7:34 PM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Hi Stacey, Yup. Thats a Bengal. ALL the stories are true. Venus once climbed my french doors all the way up, and hung there yowling because I wanted to eat dinner without fighting for my food.

I love them. For the most part.

 
At 7:42 PM , Blogger EmilyLady said...

My mother is allergic to cats. And I am allergic to being torn up to death. And I am not bored with life. And I am halfway across the country. You have fun with your big scary Bengals.

I'll definitely take a look at the video. Thanks!

~Emily

 
At 7:44 PM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Well, Emily, other than that, what's stopping you, hee-hee...????

 
At 7:44 PM , Blogger Aleta said...

Okay, that sounds soooo stressful. (the cats not the birds and the bees)

Remind me to tell you sometime about the day the two Siamese cats tried to kill me. That was one of the most frightening events of my life. I can't imagine dealing with even bigger even "wilder" cats when they are upset.

I am worried about you and the wild things. Will everyone and everything be okay?

 
At 8:29 PM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Of course we will be ok. Would Aslan have been as cool if he had been a Tame Lion? We will do just fine, my WIld Things and I.

And it makes things interesting. How could I possibly blog things like " Came home. Petted the cat. Cat fell asleep on my lap. The end." Hee-hee...

My bandmate frm Paul ad Lorraine, (that would be Paul ) just got his Doctorate Degree in some sort of Bizzare Genetics Thing today. Condgrads can be posted over at www.paulandlorraine.com Way to go Paul!

 
At 8:42 PM , Blogger Aleta said...

I guess I must be having flashbacks to the Siamese thing -- trapped in my bedroom with howling cats outside the door and bits of claw in my chest. Hee.

Yes. It does make for a much more interesting blog!

Yay Paul!

 
At 8:43 PM , OpenID pantagruel said...

"...learning new skills regarding the Birds and The Bees..."

*snorts*

Nice one. ;)

I can see how force holding might not be on the agenda for the night... sigh.

At least the oriole was cool and Bee Things went well! And your hair is very lovely and thick.

I want to post congratulations to Paul, but can't on the proper blog, as I am not a Blogger. Damn.

 
At 8:58 PM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Pantagruel, if you post here, you can post there, it's the same thing..Tell me if you can't...I just did a new post over there..

Yeah, I chuckled on the Birds and the Bees.

Aleta, claws in your chest?? Reminds me of the night before Malena and I began recording our first cd, when Zoe freaked at a cell phone call and lept on my head, clawing my eye...

ER till 4:00am.....

 
At 8:59 PM , OpenID kali-licious said...

Yeesh..sounds like you need to get that bengal wheel pronto..before they find something ELSE to destroy. LOL

 
At 9:21 PM , Blogger ariandalen said...

Well, by this time I hope you've cleaned and bandaged all those "lovely" claw marks. If you haven't had your ducts cleaned recently, be very sure to thoroughly clean any scratches (!) you might receive from JL2 after s/he comes out of exploring. Which WILL happen, sooner or later.

Now, to see if my husband and I get any more sleep tonight since this is only the second night of him wearing a CPAP. ::sigh::

 
At 10:22 PM , Blogger Rubius said...

wow!!! bengal haunted indeed!!

sorry to hear of the feline mishaps.. but I am sure it was Wonderful to hold a singing bird. sigh.

I hope JL2 comes out soon... you may be in for some wierd noises at night. Poor thing.

Aleta.. you must share your story with us!!

 
At 10:46 PM , Blogger spacedlaw said...

You know? A new queen bee and an oriole would have been enough excitement for the blog. You really did not have to go and get MAIMED just so you can write about it...
(Just kidding of course)

Be careful with those scratches, back paws claws wounds seem to be more prone to infection and the silly animal can really gouge anyone with the sharp things.
Did you get some stitches? A doctor's attention might be essential (and not necessarily a mad doctor like Paul).

Eating the wall. Eating the ceiling.
Are you sure Bengals are not in fact creatures belonging to the dungeon dimension? I am sure that normal cats do not do that (I have to talk to mine).

 
At 10:54 PM , Blogger spacedlaw said...

Oh and I must have pictures of you in pink somewhere since that is what you were wearing on Valentine's gig...

 
At 4:32 AM , Blogger Dan Guy said...

Long live Queen Kitty III!

I'm beginning to get apprehensive about meeting these crazed, blood-thirty, wall-shredding beasties.

 
At 4:34 AM , Blogger Martyn Drake said...

My wife absolutely hates cats. She's terrified of them - which is odd given that she grew up surrounded by them.

Whenever we go and visit her parents she goes into panic mode whenever one of the two elderly cats comes anywhere near her. The thing is - I think they know she hates them and will aim for her deliberately just to start stirring things up.

Me? I like them. They can be awfully cute - but I do fear the claws. I went around to a home of a client many years ago who had a little kitten. Beautiful little thing it was. As I was doing my thing, the kitten leaps on my lap and starts to dig it's claws into me as it tried to vertically climb down my leg. It was like a bizzare form of accupuncture - only much more painful.

Cats. They're Nature's way of telling you to do as you're told and obey the supreme overlords (and ladies).

 
At 7:26 AM , Blogger LaM said...

I didn't go to the Doctor, Paul or therwise to I have been to the ER a total of three times due to kitties. These will scar, but haven't done the infection thing.

Martyn, welcome, and you make me laugh! Obey.....

JL2 is still in the ducts, I heard her when I went in with food. JL1 is back to hating me and won't come out, after yesterdays chase.

I may live trap JL2 might be the only way, I know she will come out, but I can't get to the hole in the wall before she does and she goes right back in.

Now my Spooky House is Haunted. Scuttleing in the duct works....I might HAVE them cleaned, and say, while you are at it...

 
At 7:30 AM , Blogger spacedlaw said...

Good plan, that.
Mind you the bonus effect of that is that you shall have no mice in your ducts...

 
At 7:36 AM , Blogger LaM said...

This is true, it is good to look on the nright side.

Dan, you will love these cats. I may even make a present of them to you. You can take them home, and they can face Zander. Any kid who can put a been on a leash, can handle Bengals.

 
At 7:46 AM , Blogger Martyn Drake said...

Speaking of blood letting, how is the Cabal the Dog and not-killing-cats thing going?

 
At 7:57 AM , OpenID pantagruel said...

Blah, www.paulandlorraine.com is now apparently temporarily disabled: "This site has been disabled. If you are the site owner please call 1-800-396-1999 between 10am and 6pm EST or login to resolve this issue." Please pass on to Paul that, well, I am thwarted. :) The issue last night was that unlike here, there isn't an OpenID option for identity, only Google/Blogger.

Boring meta stuff out of the way -- glad that your scratches aren't infected, and the live trap is sounding like a good way to go. Now your Spooky House is indeed haunted… haunted by Bengals! :) And won't have mice! Maybe she's just busy hunting.

 
At 8:09 AM , Blogger spacedlaw said...

Some people gad rats in their walls.
Some even had wolves.
Now Bengals.
What next?
Bees?

(Of course mundane people can have water from a leaky water pipe or mice. It takes style and flair to obtain Bengals. That and a good dose of incredible bad luck)

 
At 8:49 AM , Blogger ivenotime said...

way too interesting of an evening! hope your arms are feeling better and healing. I agree Dan, I think I would be a bit worried about meeting these lovely felines. I have never heard of walls being eaten before - Hey, Lorraine, maybe your boss got it wrong about wolves in the walls, should've been bengals! I would host some pre halloween Scary Tours, if JL howls in the ducts, that would scare anyone, let alone the clunking around. think i'll stick with corgis....

 
At 8:49 AM , Blogger ivenotime said...

way too interesting of an evening! hope your arms are feeling better and healing. I agree Dan, I think I would be a bit worried about meeting these lovely felines. I have never heard of walls being eaten before - Hey, Lorraine, maybe your boss got it wrong about wolves in the walls, should've been bengals! I would host some pre halloween Scary Tours, if JL howls in the ducts, that would scare anyone, let alone the clunking around. think i'll stick with corgis....

 
At 8:50 AM , Blogger Dan Guy said...

You know what they say.

If the Bengal comes out of the walls, IT'S ALL OVER.

 
At 9:07 AM , Blogger LaM said...

Well, I stopped the Cabel and Cat thing. I tried for about 10 days, but it was obvious that someone , Man or Beast , was going to get hurt. He had no curiosity about the cat, he wanted to kill it, and tried very hard to. I could control him, but he would never be ok on his own.

Dan Guy, PLEEEEEAAASSEEE can you find out what's wrong with Paulandlorraine.com ? And make it all better? I'll give you a million $$$$.

Or a Bengal. If If get get it out of the walls...

Yes, it's all over.

We are going to try and live trap it.

 
At 9:17 AM , Blogger Dan Guy said...

Well, looking at the page it links to it seems to be wanting you to give *them* money. Maybe they'd take a Bengal?

Seriously, though, do you have the password? I can't do anything without it. I'll email Ms. Elf to see if she's got it.

 
At 9:17 AM , Blogger Martyn Drake said...

That paulandlorraine.com error message might indicate that it's exceeded it's bandwidth. The usual solution is to give the web hosting company more money...

As for Cabal and Cat - how comes Cabal hasn't made a beeline (that one courtesy of the Old Jokes Home) for Neil's cat, Fred? Or is is just this one particular Cat that he's taken a major disliking to?

 
At 9:22 AM , Blogger Aleta said...

The blog elements of the Paul and Lorraine online kingdom are accessible directly here and here.

 
At 10:31 AM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Paulandlorraine.com is back up and running. Apparently I forgot to pay the bill. I said, " well, heck, let's do that now, I'll give you a card, how much do you want..."

One dollar.

They took my site down over one dollar.

Thanks for your help, everyone!

Cabal hates all cats. Actually, hate is the wrong word, he just gets really excited and wants to kill them. They are in a catagory with rabbits, deer, and groundhogs.

Fred discovered this right away. And did not approve. At all. Sadly, he left, but the Birdchick thinks she saw him while hiking, so I suspect he is living with neighbors or quite fine on his own.

 
At 1:22 PM , Blogger ariandalen said...

Who knew that cats/Bengals could get pika? Now we know.

A live trap for JL2 is probably the quickest way to grab hir. Good luck!

Bees already get into house walls, usually from the outside. Sometimes they make huge hives in the walls. Then a beekeeper gets called to remove them. Unfortunately, in my neck of the country it's often Africanized bees. Not so much fun to remove, so they are usually destroyed. there have been a few cases that have made the news the past few years.

Fortunately, Ms. Fabulous has nothing to worry about as the Africanized bees are hundreds of miles south from her. :)

 
At 3:18 PM , Blogger EmilyLady said...

Well, I suppose you are right, Lorraine. Even if I'm not bored with life, it would be fun to liven it up with Bengal cats. And if my mother is allergic, I could keep them in my bedroom. Just put them in a box and ship them off to RI ...

~Emily

 
At 3:40 PM , OpenID pantagruel said...

They took your site down over a dollar?! Gah. Losers!

Sigh.

How are your flesh wounds?

 
At 6:02 PM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Killer Bees. Nope . Not up here. Won't come this far north...I am sure of it....Truly....

Put the Bengals in a Box????? Can't be done. Tried. I could send you some bees tho...

Great news about Jungle Love 2. She is out of the ducts. Full story to come, after I am done with work....Stay tuned for updates....

 
At 6:28 PM , Blogger Aleta said...

I am glad to hear that JL1 is out of the ducts!

I will tell the story of the attack cats. No time right now though.

You have all been so welcoming I think I should reveal the location of my own online home. You can find me at LiveJournal under the name hhbarmaid.

I'll most likely post the killer cat story over there rather than clogging up Lorraine's blog with my years old tale of woe!

 
At 6:31 PM , Blogger Aleta said...

Oopps!

I mean JL2!

 
At 6:40 PM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

JL1 is t fat to get down there, thanks be...Going home SOON.

 
At 10:20 PM , Blogger spacedlaw said...

Good heavens, Aleta! Not only are you on LJ but we have friends in common AND we are in the same writing community!
Looking forward to the cat's story.

 
At 11:39 AM , Blogger Aleta said...

Well spacedlaw, it is a small virtual world!

 
At 7:08 PM , Blogger elionwyr said...

I think it is a sign of my insanity that even after reading of your Bengal Trials and Tribulations, I still wish I was close enough to adopt one (or both) of the JLs.

*wistful sigh*

 

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