All I ever learned about Dogs I learned from Tinka...

Fest is over! My gigs are spacing out nicely! My house is starting to resemble a Home and not a Place Where All My Stuff Is ! My work is no longer a looming doom of Gods You Are Behind! Halloween is coming! And so is my Hot Tub, on Tuesday , in fact! I may yet rejoin the living. Or at least the Cheerful Un-dead.

All is getting back to normal in my world, at least as close as it ever gets. In two weeks I go out to see our Malena for our favorite holiday of the year, yes, we will be webcaming or podcasting or Something for the big day, I am thinking. And in November, I am taking the entire month off from gigging. I am just going to write, and learn new songs and , I believe do some more recording.

Sleep is still in short supply. Malena, the little Goth Betty Crocker , decided what she REALLY needed to make her home and world perfect was ANOTHER Boston Terrier. Now, these are pricy little dogs out in the Land of La-la, but here in the Midwest one can pick them up at the grocery store at a bargain price, so we , Malena, Mr Gorgeous and I, thought, hey, why don't I pick one out, and bring it next time I come out???!!!! What a perfect plan.

Right.

I found the Baby easily enough, and was going to leave her with the breeder for three weeks , until said time of going out, but well, she was, uh, sort of cute, in a weirdo looking way, and lonely, and little and not really up to competing for food with the rest of the litter, and I thought, Hey! How hard can it be??? So what if I have never had a dog before? I mean it's just little?????

Right.

Some things I have learned about Dogs.

1. Make sure it IS a dog. I am not at all sure this one is. It looks kind of like a cross between a Rat, Bat and Frog.

2. At 7 weeks they are NEW. Like a baby is NEW. This means they don't know ANYTHING and they are either full on party mode or sleeping. They will not sleep for long, only a couple hours. This includes the nighttime when you will want to sleep.

3. Everything you have heard or read about online about the Crate theory is wrong. They don't want to be in the crate. They will let you know this. It will sound kind of like Armageddon is happening in the crate. They want to be with you. All the time.

4. When they wake up Get Them Outside. Fast. The weird thing about dogs is that so much more comes OUT than goes IN. How is this possible????? Don't take your eyes off the dog for a second or they will Poo . EVEN if they have just been outside and Done the Business. They will still Poo if you don't watch them. This will make your Boss unhappy if you take your dog to work with you.

5. Don't take your dog to your gig. They will not sit nicely in the crate ( see # 3 ) while you play your lilting Irish Music. They will sit nicely in peoples laps or in beer pitchers. Your guitar player may take care of it during the breaks because these things are CHICK MAGNETS.

6. If the dog is small enough, put it in your purse when you go to the stores, shops or post office. You will meet a LOT of nice new people, and besides the dog does not like staying alone in the car any more than it likes the crate. Carry paper towels with you all the time.

7. They like cat food better than dog food.

8. They like cats.

9. Cats do not like them. AT ALL. Cats will look at you and let you know they are Very Very disappointed in you, how you could have made such a grievous error in judgment is beyond them, they will wash their paws of it entirely. Trouble Will Come Of This.

10. They are pretty cute, even if you are not sure your dog IS a dog, and it looks more like a Pig Dog Rat Dog Frog. It IS kind of cute. Entertaining as all heck too, in the party mode phase. They kind of do sort of a Hip Hop Dance type maneuver when they are happy and run, and they will be very fierce when they attempt to rend and kill stuffed fish or squeaking hedgehogs. When they sleep, which they like to do on you, they will melt your heart. And you will want to protect them forever.

Everyone asks me Won't it be hard to give her up to Malena? I do love the little thing, and she sure is fun and I am really glad to have had this experience and do this for my best friend, but...

No. It won't.

Meet Tinka.

Love and dogs and hot tubs,
Lorraine