Wednesday, August 13, 2008

So, What Does An Assistant Do, Anyway?

Boss is off to China now for the next five weeks, and I am left alone with Dog, Bengals, Cats and Fish, in a big old house, in the middle of nowhere.

Not a bad plan for someone who is learning to play the Bagpipes. eh?

Not, mind you, that there won't be a lot of work, hardly, No lying around eating Bon-bons for this Assistant. Doesn't stop just because he is gone. I've been meaning for some time, since Boss told me I ought to one day after I lost my cool at an idiot, to do a Post on Assistanting.

Coupled with the fact that I got a mention on the most wonderfully cool site ever, Save the Assistants , I thought now would be as good a time as any. And there are things I can talk about that I couldn't before.

(Do you have ANY idea how hard it was not to tell the world that Bela Fleck was recording Dans Macabre, and how amazing it turned out? When he wrote and Boss told me he wanted to, I said, when I could speak, "YOU SAID YES, RIGHT????" I am SO a fan of his)

(or that I have been considering getting Boss's Chinese VISA application published as my first Novelette? They now know more about him than I do. That was the House of Cards that kept collapsing, over and over...)

There's a lot people don't know about Personal Assistants and what they do, and go thru, daily. And yes, for me, it is the best job ever. And if you want something from my Boss, you should read this.

The Assistant is your best friend. Or your worst enemy. Don't piss them off. In fact, go out of your way to please them. Do you have any IDEA how many requests they get, and that are passed onto them by their Boss's?

They control the schedules. They say Yea or Nay, when asked "Should I do this?"

If they tell you a you can have an interview, or a quote or whatever, but not sure when, it means they DO NOT know when. Travel for the Boss changes daily. Sometimes hourly.

If you try and do an end run around to the Boss, you will not like what happens.

Personal Assistants work long hours. All hours. They don't start nine, end at five Monday thru Friday. And they very often don't sit in an office all day.

I run errands, manage the day to day of the house, shop, cook, drive to the airport, take care of pets, make the garden grows. and am the person who everyone comes to saying "Quiche, what, where or how..." and dozens of other things, to numerous to list. And don't get me started on the amount of books, cd's and paper that comes in.

I make tea, make him get places on time (despite his best efforts) and actually did tell him the other day that he was still wearing the store pants. Sometimes I transcribe from tape, or what is written in notebooks. Sometimes the sound quality is very bad and the handwriting not to be spoken of.

And take care of travel, trips, schedules both at home and away, get an insane amount of e--mail, all of which is important. I make sure contracts are signed and sent off (me and the post office, Fed Ex and UPS are tight) I sort the mail every day. (It does come in a tub)

I make cars, hotels and planes happen. I am very good with airlines. And I make sure the tickets are changeable. Because, oh yes, they will change.

Every time he travels, I sign off on the schedule, the travel, hotel, and what is happening when, and make sure it goes right. When it goes wrong, I fix it. And it will go wrong.

When we do interview days, I set them up, slot them a time and stack them up like air traffic control, making sure each ends exactly when it has to.

I think the most important tip I can give you, is if you are writing with Boss, and he has agreed to something, copy me, tell me, feel free to (Very nicely) write back and keep it on the radar. Not to sound puffed up, or as we used to say "Act Big" but if I know what's going on, you will have a far better chance of it happening.

That's my job, I make it happen.

Boss once told me that the indicator of how well I was doing my job, was in how much time he had to write, which is what he does best.

No day is ever dull. If you want to be a Personal Assistant, check your ego at the door. You are not the one who is ending up on the cover of the magazine.

But your Boss would not be there, if you didn't make it happen. In the sense of you were the one who arranged the interview, got them the shots, scheduled the shoot....

And you will get blindsided every day and think "Well, sure didn't see that one coming..." Deal with it.

I've never talked about my job before here at this blog, simply because at the end of the day, when I have some me time, I want to talk about the other things I do, and be done with the job. (And PA's who talk too much are out of a job) But reading on Save the Assistants gave me something to think about, and how I think people don't know what we do all day, and just how much it is. And how important.

I'll answer questions about my job, and talk about it for the duration of this post. can't promise I will tell you everything, but I will be as honest as I can.

I can tell you I haven't told the half of it, and if you are a PA too, you know. Yes. You do know.

And if you need something, drop me an e-mail.

I love my job and am not going anywhere.

Love and Assistanting,
Lorraine

86 Comments:

At 8:44 PM , Blogger AletaMay said...

What impresses me so much about you, Lorraine, is that you do all this -- have this job that could take over your whole life -- and still do so many cool things that are your own. Your music and fostering Bengals and blogging with great regularity about many many things that are in your mind and heart that are not about your job or your Boss. At the same time you seem to integrate your life into that of your Boss very well too.

I have never been a PA -- but I have been "second in command" in a couple of jobs and I can tell you that I found it very easy to get lost in world of the person I was supporting. You really seem to have worked all that out.

Well Done!

If the day ever comes when I need to interview your Boss I will know who to ask and I'll send you a box of mangoes every week. ;-)

 
At 8:47 PM , Blogger Rubius said...

You made me laugh with the bagpipes line... and the VISA novelette.

Ah, Princess of No, that is quite an extensive lineup... you know.. if Dan gets that stretchy time thing working... you might actually be able to get enough sleep or a little time off one of these days. ;-)

Bossman, Dog, Bengals, Cats and Fish are lucky to have you.

Don't let the animals eat you!!

 
At 8:48 PM , Blogger Rubius said...

Aletamay... you are so right.

 
At 9:06 PM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Mangos help. I love mangos. You do have to balance it, that is SO important. I need my own life too, and need to do ME things that have nothing to do with the job, like music, or the Bengal fostering.

(Tho I am not doing so well there, they still have no home..)

And blogging. Keeps me sane, truly. You lot are the BEST!

Since I posted I have been e-mailing with a lawyer who needs things, the Producer who optioned Lonely Werewolf Girl (HURRAH!) someone who isn't getting an interview, a person who helps Boss out on the road sometimes, a few people in China (who are up now) and Amanda Palmers amazing assistant, Beth...

See? Doesn't stop...

Gotta love it. And I do.

I should mention tho, that if my Boss wasn't the most amazingly cool understanding and all around great man to work for, I would not be here.

 
At 9:32 PM , Blogger ariandalen said...

You obviously love your job, else you wouldn't still be doing it. I think we do get a glimmer of the extra stuff you do as PA, especially regarding Cabal and the bees. I, too, am impressed at the things you do for yourself on top of your "day" job. On the other hand, I understand all too well that those are what helps you keep your sanity, and evidently so does your Boss.

These are what make you Fabulous. :)

 
At 9:49 PM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

The bees and the dog were surprises . I'd never had a dog before, and had to learn a lot quickly, and as far as the bees went, he had wanted them for years, only time I ever told him NO, at least as far as my participation went...

And just look what happened. What I was scared of most turned out to be something that was so very good for me...

 
At 9:50 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow! You are STILL Fabulous!

(Remember me? Berry, who produced the "Live Deadly Circuit" tape?)

 
At 9:58 PM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Berry! Yes, I do, long time! I loved Live Deadly Circuit! Even if the recording wasn't the best ( not your fault) it was a great show . The last official Flash Girls show.... And it was good enough to get the idea.

Hard show to do tho. Sill miss my Emma. Love it every time we get together. Hope we can do music again, somewhere....

 
At 10:25 PM , Blogger spacedlaw said...

You do deserve that crate of fresh mangoes every now and then!
And you did not mention taking care of the bees (unless they count as pets) and guests (pets again?).

Having seen you on what should have been a holiday has had me completely impressed. Especially that you still manage to have a little time and a whole lot of energy to do your own things in between.

 
At 10:41 PM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Yes, there are Guests, and that is a part of it. Sometimes on a moments notice, and I had wanted those shows to be a Holiday with my own guests, but again, you deal with it.

That's the job.

 
At 10:54 PM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Actually, since I said I was going to be honest about my job, I didn't like it at all that it infringed on those shows, three shows, three days three different bands, three different bands , compete with my job going like it does.....

Boss was going to come down for one, and couldn't because of these guests.

I wanted my friend there.

 
At 10:57 PM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

I meant to say " Three different bands, three different nights, competing with " Teach me to post in low light....

 
At 11:03 PM , Blogger spacedlaw said...

We'd have to pack him off to some place with the internet next time we come around...

Weren't you supposed to go to bed?

 
At 11:06 PM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Yes, yes, I should be in bed, but it is had to relax after some days. You keep thinking there is somthing else to do.......

 
At 11:09 PM , Blogger spacedlaw said...

Where is the masseuse when you need her?

 
At 11:12 PM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Dear Fod, I m so on board with that...Must make phone call tomorrow, she notes....

 
At 11:32 PM , Blogger Lexocat said...

Lorraine, just reading the description of your job makes me feel like I need to go lie down for a bit. (After laughing for a good long while, of course) Whew!

I am left with two questions, though. Question the first: how did you come to start working for Boss? And second, what's been the biggest change in your job over time?

Call masseuse, definitely. You've more than earned it.

 
At 11:36 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm continually amazed and impressed by how you manage to stay organized in the midst of what can sometimes be utter chaos and still find time for you.

One of my best friends told me once that she thought I'd make a good assistant, but I somehow doubt I have it in me to be organized enough. I just know I'd wake myself up in the middle of the night going "OMG! I forgot such-and such!"

So how do you stay organized, Lorraine? Are you a list-maker? Or do you just keep it all in your head?
:)

 
At 11:45 PM , Blogger Rubius said...

You were an exceptional host, and I am sure Nathalie will agree. Very generous.

It was such a wonderful experience to come out and listen to you perform. You were just SMASHING.. and that after so much energy output... three nights in a row!! And although you didn't have the foster bengals then, you were fostering one of the other cats in your home... and all that was on top of running errands and your job.... AND you pulled off being a great host.

It was inspiring to watch.

You do deserve mangos. Mountains of mangos.

 
At 6:03 AM , Blogger Jess said...

You know, I had a sort of general idea of what assistants do, but till I read this post (and the ones over on the Bossblog) I don't think I realized the scale of it. I think it was when I got to the bit about getting sand in the mail that I thought, Oh, man. My head would explode. But I'm selfish, so I would say that. :) It takes a very unselfish person to do your job.

I can't help but echo what everyone else has said: I'm stunned that you do all that you do and still have time to do things for yourself. When do you get to write? Even if you're just blogging, it takes some quiet time. It seems like it'd be very hard to switch gears once you get home-- though, of course, it helps to be surrounded by creative people. I know I find it a lot easier to write when I've got people around me doing similar, and we can keep each other company.

The only mangoes I can offer on short notice are over on the Weebl and Bob site, and it's far too early for that. I shan't post the link. It would be irritating. :D

 
At 6:25 AM , Blogger ivenotime said...

You do work hard, and I echo Jess in wondering how you relax and indulge in some downtime, let alone keeping your own life intact - a balancing act to be sure. Glad your house of cards finally stayed up and in place! Dealing with the Chinese government had to be an interesting experience - hope it's safe over there, seems like there are many mixed reports. The dog, bees, cats are in good hands!

 
At 6:57 AM , Blogger Erin Underwood said...

Oh, Princess of No, you're doing a great job! He's lucky to have you.

Thanks so much for sharing. There really are a lot of similarities between being a Personal Assistant and an Executive Assistant. I'm just glad I can leave my boss at work when I leave at 5:00. I'd go crazy if I had to "take" him home with me.

I'm impressed that you have the energy to do so much - everyday! Go you!

I hope my boss doesn't read your post. :-D I look lazy by comparison!

 
At 8:24 AM , Blogger gaypet said...

You do make all the magic happen. The lot of them (bees, dog, cats, Boss, etc.) are lucky to have you!

I have worked as a Nanny and helped to organize a household. It's not really anything like what you do except that people don't understand what the job is and how much it takes. As far as being organized enough I often find it easier to organize other peoples lives than my own.

One of the best parts of Nannying was getting to travel to places I would not ever has gotten to go otherwise. Do you get to go anywhere fun because of your job or are you always the one left with the household?

 
At 8:51 AM , Blogger Beez said...

*is once more somewhat befuddled by The Whirlwind That Is Lorraine*

Happens every time I read one of your "Life of an assistant" missives.

That said- it's clear you love your job, and in this world that's a wonderful thing.

Make good use of the big empty house in the middle of nowhere.

The pipes, the pipes are calling!

 
At 9:06 AM , Blogger Dan Guy said...

You know, all this time spent tending to the throng of Neil clones and I never considered the effect on you. I have been remiss, dear FabLo! I will get started on your army of QuicheClones right away, that you might spend your time delegating between bon-bons.

 
At 9:12 AM , Blogger Fabulous Lorraine said...

I first started working for Boss when he moved here from the UK 16 years ago, he knew Will and Emma and Steve and some other writers here, as did I. And he needed someone to unpack his library and put it in order on the shelves, so I did that, and then there were other things to do, and I thought I would stay until they all were done.....

16 years.

I think the biggest change has been that Boss keeps getting bigger and doing different things. I've had a crash course these last few years in dealing with Hollywood, and all that entails.

(an education in itself, trust me)

And learning what is entailed in getting a book on the Times list. How that works, it's a complex campaign.

And power. Moving from being someone who did things, and reacted to being someone who made things happen, and was a part of the process, if you see what I mean.

It is hard to have time for myself. I do make lists, I have a note book and every day, there are the things that have to happen, the calls that come in and go out, the list of Things to tell my Boss that are emergencies....

I would be lost with out the notebook.

When Boss and I go for a walk, or drive to the airport, notebook comes with, as it is certain 8 or 10 things will occur to him and there is no way I can remember all of them.

 
At 9:14 AM , Blogger Fabulous Lorraine said...

Hee-hee, very funny! I'd never seen that. Quiche Clones would be wonderful, she says wistfully....

 
At 9:28 AM , Blogger Rubius said...

Dan you are hilarious... great link... I love it.

 
At 9:57 AM , Blogger Fabulous Lorraine said...

I've been talking with Lilit from Save The Assistants.com about writing another funny bit on being an Assistant, may call it, 10 Things Your Really Need to Know if You want to be an Assistant...

Already have ideas, even sleepy as I am today...

 
At 9:58 AM , Blogger spacedlaw said...

Like: "sleeping is optional"?

 
At 10:10 AM , Blogger Fabulous Lorraine said...

Sleep is over rated. At least I keep telling myself that....

 
At 10:29 AM , Blogger Unknown said...

Aaaaaaaamen. From one assistant to another, I salute you!!

 
At 11:13 AM , Blogger Dan Guy said...

I used to tell friends, all the time, back in college that time was stretchy. There was always time enough to be found to do whatever I wanted to do.

Now I have kids and, mysteriously, it doesn't stretch anymore. At all. Now it disappears whenever you aren't looking directly at it.

 
At 11:22 AM , Blogger Fabulous Lorraine said...

Hi Adriana and welcome. You do know, don't you???

Yes, we need strechy time. Yesterday was beyond belief busy. And everything didn't get done before Boss left. SImply wasn't possible. We made the plane with most of what he needed with him, and that was an achievement.

 
At 11:49 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Lorraine, I think Aletamay said it best - you seem to do such a lot, both in your own life and Boss's. From the outside, it looks as if you work incredibly hard, but that the job(s) are interesting as well as demanding. Until I read the 'day in the life of an assistant' it had nevre occured to me that people would send Mr Neil sand ... do you still get that, or has it died down at all? Did you start getting limes and spiders after Anansi Boys? (For me, spiders would be worse than sand..)

I've never been a PA, but I've always felt that in a lot of ways, my secretary/assistant has a much harder job than I do, not least because when I started, she adapted to the way I like to do things, rather than the other way around.

If you had to pick just one incident (or repeating issue) what would you say your best and worse experiences have been, in connection with your job?

 
At 12:49 PM , Blogger ivenotime said...

I'll bet dealing with people is one of the best experiences, and the worst? dealing with people....:) Val, hope your painting is going well - I'm sure with your skill level you will pull it off swimmingly without a model. Lorraine - thought you were close to a bengal home? Or are adoption procedures still being worked out? oooh, yes, you can practice the pipes at will - only the birds, bees, dog and cats will know....

 
At 12:54 PM , Blogger gaypet said...

Well put, as usual, Dan. The change in time from college to now seems to be related to the change over that 5:00 AM has made, from a late night to an early morning.

 
At 1:04 PM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Well, the sand died down, I may have had something to do with that, but we do get some odd things. It's never been fully explained to me why we got a giant pig from Australia....

As far as best and worst things go, best is easy...3 years after I started working with Neil, he acquired a baby daughter named Maddy. Being a part of her life for 13 years is easily the most wonderful thing.

Other than that, the best is meeting people. And being able to use what I know to help out friends. I had to laugh, I arranged for dog care and am taking the afternoon off (so to speak) and as soon as I got home I got a call from a sick with a cold Kimberly Butler, a friend I met thru an EW shoot, (she shot my boss) saying help! I need to book a plane ticket and am sick and need you!!

Kimbery also directed the vid Malena and I did last year. Charged us nothing. So many good things happen because of people I've met thru my job.

The worst thing about my job is when things go wrong. I hate it. And they do go wrong. Like Tulsa a couple months ago. Not my fault, and I discovered what went wrong, and spent hours on the phone fixing it, but still, I don't like it when things go wrong

Even little things. Like last week I was meant to send Black Walnuts to the nice lady at Black Phoenix Alchemy and went to what I thought were our only Black Walnut trees, and found no nuts. Turned out they were all on a nearby tree, and all went fine, but I had mis-read an e-mail from Boss telling me where to look...

I get blindsided a lot. A lot of times you can't see something coming. Or I make mistakes. I miss something, forget something, no matter how hard I try and make things perfect for Boss.

That's the worst.

 
At 1:10 PM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

I was close to getting a home for my fosters...Two of them in fact, and a third who offered but lives too far, and Val offered too, but she s far away and has other pets, but I haven't heard back from the people who were considering...

They really really need to find their home.

I love these Kitties, but Venus would not stand for it, and I can't have 4 Bengals.....I mean really, like my life isn't hectic enough?

 
At 1:12 PM , Blogger Rubius said...

Oh Lorraine, I know just what you mean. The little girls at my work are the most wonderful kids... so sweet and kind, even when they are being mini-brats (and that is rare).

and no matter how hard you try it is always possible to make mistakes or forget things... I tend to get really upset with myself when I make a mistake and I have to learn to be more forgiving of my own mistakes (like my kindly but scatterbrained boss). Other people's mistakes don't bother me quite as much as my own. I guess that could be considered a good thing because there are a LOT more 'other people' out there than just me.

 
At 1:26 PM , Blogger spacedlaw said...

A giant pig from Australia? A real one or just an inflatable one like the one that went missing on the Pink Floyd show?

Good night everyone and read you in a week's time.

 
At 1:36 PM , Blogger ariandalen said...

Dan, you hit it right on the button. When I was in college I had more time, and (mysteriously) more money to do whatever I wanted. Even without children, time tends to get less stretchy as you get older. Having your first child just four months before your 40th birthday changes things, too, like not recovering from sleep deprivation as well, or at least as quickly.

See, it's taken me at least 30 minutes to write this, if not an hour. I'm blaming "The Little Mermaid." That's my story, and I'm sticking to it. ;)

 
At 2:16 PM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

I just try and do what I can and keep my fingers crossed, or rather, as they say "Trust in Allah, but tie your camel)

'Night Nathilie, hope your holiday is a fine one!

More stretchy time! It does go so fast..I remember in college that there was so much too....

Now that I am going back to college this fall, I wonder if I will get more....

 
At 2:21 PM , Blogger Rubius said...

I wouldn't bet on it... I think time is like innocence.. it disappears in as you grow older... and there isn't anything you can do about it.

 
At 2:32 PM , Blogger Bulfinch's Aglaia said...

Fablo, this is hilarious and awe-inspiring and I love reading it and I really appreciate you posting it. So why does it also make me a little teary-eyed??? I don't know, but it did. And I'm still really really glad you posted it. Thank you!

 
At 2:48 PM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Well, than you for reading! I've never done one on my job, and felt like it was the right time, somehow.

Going to miss the Boss these next five weeks. Then he is home for a couple days, the off on tour. I am going to get really good at pipes , hopefully.

 
At 9:00 PM , Blogger ivenotime said...

Are you going back to college this fall? what are you taking? good fod, i know i have kinda skimmed thru posts, how did i miss this- maybe french? bah, not only does time slip thru your fingers, memory does too. arian - little mermaid is a great excuse. use it often:) - we loved that too, and i miss those years! my youngest leaves tomorrow..

 
At 2:55 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Giant Pig from Australia? I know there was a giant pig from this year's EasterCon, as I saw it presented to Boss. details of how it came into being here - http://www.orbital2008.org/conreps.html If this isn't the one, maybe it has cousins in Australia!

 
At 5:25 AM , Blogger Unknown said...

Dear Ms. Lorraine,

a) Some day, your fine Boss should let you have a vacation in the Philippines. I have no doubt that you will be feted as a Fabulous Quiche ought to be - not just because you're Mr. Neil's PA, but in your own right. This royal treatment, of course, will include your being inundated with the best mangoes the Philippines has to offer, definitely.

b) Here in Manila, we have a term for Personal Assistant: dakilang alalay. Rough translations - "dakila"="heroic", "alalay"="one who supports". I would think that in many cases, doing what you love doing certainly does approach the level of heroism.

Here's to more and better things in your future, Ms. Lorraine!

 
At 8:50 AM , Blogger Fabulous Lorraine said...

Yup. French. Seems like a good idea.

Ah, Eastercon in the UK, that was it....Must read the how and what of it..

Hu Starshadow, and welcome! I am all for it, coming to the Philippines, and might well. Mangos right off the trees...I would LOVE to come down.

Hee-hee Heroic one who supports. Like that too.

 
At 10:40 AM , Blogger K said...

Heroic one who supports! That is - aptly - fabulous.

I too had wondered how you got into this assistanting lark - good to have the question answered!

 
At 2:28 PM , Blogger ivenotime said...

how fun! hope you enjoy your french class - i so wish i could learn a language, took french in high school, but was not so hot at it. i would love to learn finnish, but i know its far more difficult than french - but being bilingual is a definite asset - spacedlaw, i admire you tremendously - how many languages are you fluent in? And welcome starshadow, the philipines sound wonderful - and i love the Heroic one definition too!

 
At 2:42 PM , Blogger Fabulous Lorraine said...

Spacelaw is away for a week on Holiday, so we will have to wait on her comments, but I think she speak four fluently, French, English, Italian and Dutch, at least...

I have so always wanted to speak French, and I can actually read a bit, it just seems so familiar, like I almost know it...

 
At 6:39 PM , Blogger girlwithacamera said...

I think at some point you must change your title from "fabulous" to "nearly super-human".

I am just a baby assistant (with all of three and a half months under my belt as a PA, and another year of being an EA) and if in fifteen years I am doing my job half as well as you are doing yours now, I will consider it a victory.

The hardest part for me is the fact that things go wrong. They ALWAYS do. On one of our last trips, I arrived at 2PM to find everything in a shambles... by the time my boss arrived at 9PM, I'd sorted everything out. She checked in to her (now existent) hotel room and said, "Well, everything seems to be going smoothly!" and I wanted to reply, "You weren't here at 5 when I was out in the rain looking for artist camping." But, I realize that part of the point of my job is that, in the best of cases, everything appears to go perfectly.

Part of the reason your boss and my boss get along so well is that they are two of the busiest people on the face of the planet.

What did you do before you were The Fabulous Lorraine aka the Princess of No?

 
At 7:02 PM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Hi Girl, and welcome!

You are so right. They do go wrong, and is our job to make them right. Boss already had a snaffu in China, which WAS my fault. Didn't catch it.

I so hate that. Makes me feel worse than anything.

Before this job I was living by my wits and doing odd things that came up.....

Tomorrow I am going to pay my respects out at the Renn Faire. Won't be easy. May play some with Bedlam, and I am taking my new pipes.

 
At 8:59 PM , Blogger ariandalen said...

Have fun at Faire tomorrow, Ms. Fabulous. A sorrow shared truly does lessen it, and I know there will be a lot of sharing. Besides, you'll get a chance to join the Uillean Pipe Marching Band. ;)

 
At 9:07 PM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

My thanks! It will help...

I'm rather inclined to think I might well be lynched by friends and family tho, hee-hee...One finds out who ones true friends are when one leans to play bagpipes....

 
At 9:26 PM , Blogger AletaMay said...

It sounds like while you hate it when things go wrong you and your Boss also have gained some acceptance of the fact that from time to time they will. That is a pretty big accomplishment.

I'll be thinking of you tomorrow, Lorraine. I expect it will be intense and hard and good.

 
At 5:33 AM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

I'm off to the faire....Full report, tonight, with pics!

WIsh me luck!

 
At 9:00 AM , Blogger Dan Guy said...

Rock the Faire, Quiche!

 
At 2:37 PM , Blogger uberlibra said...

I was a PA for a couple of people in the entertainment industry and now I am a PA for someone who is most definitely not. As a PA and as a huge Neil fan, all I can (and will) say is: thank you for this post.

 
At 2:44 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sounds like you need an assistant yourself...: -)

Seriously, particularly since no one else has mentioned it, should mention that it's been a pleasure working with you when I've been involved in organizing Neil appearances and the like.

 
At 5:42 PM , Blogger Fabulous Lorraine said...

Unberlibra, many thanks and welcome! I'd been meaning to do that post for some time, and it just worked out.

Hi Tom, it's always great working with you too.

I'll do a new post tonight after I get home. And shower. Renn Faire ain't clean.

And it was much harder than I expected...

 
At 6:02 PM , Blogger ivenotime said...

:( so sorry...i am sure it was very difficult. what a tragic loss.

 
At 6:17 PM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Thanks Sue, it was.

Does anyone know in Iphoto how to make the pictures big again, when you are looking at "last roll" or library. I hot some wrong key and they all went wee, I sed to be able to ssee them, and now they are right tiny and hard to work with....

 
At 6:32 PM , Blogger adelheid said...

I agree that it sounds like you need an assistant as well or else a clone or two. But it also sounds like your job is never dull or uninteresting. So, what does your Boss do when you go on vacation? (I hope you get to go on vacation, at least.)

 
At 7:30 PM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Vacation? I do not know this word, is it French?

Hee-hee...

We work it out. Mostly I go when he doesn't need me, if he is gone, I can arrange dog and Bengal care. I don't like to be gone more than a long weekend at a time.

And I'm still online and have my phone if problems occur...

 
At 7:42 PM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

HA! Utilized the Help tab and figured out it is a little sliddy thing at the bottom, more it right, they get bigger..

Now to work...

Venus has gone all cuddly tho, so it may take a bit...

 
At 8:02 PM , Blogger gaypet said...

I can't imagine what it was like to be there and really have known Joe. I cried like a baby and had never met him. The show was so great! I can't even imagine doing such a thing!

Nice day at the Faire. My son is 4. He didn't seem to remember anything about it until we got through the gates. We walked in and he said "This is where the Fairy gave me a stone. Where is the Fairy?" Again, he was 3 last year. There is a young woman who does not speak but plays the pipes and makes connections; in particular with children. She gives out small clear stones to kids. She is "The Fairy". I think she is called Twig or some such. She is wonderful!

Needless to say we stayed at the Faire until we found the Fairy (about 6 hours). I cried and gave her all of my $ when we found her. :) Micah got a star shaped stone and some Fairy dust.

The day could not have been better!

I hope I was not intruding Quiche. I just wanted to say hi. Hope that was OK.

 
At 8:08 PM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

More than ok, it made me feel really loved. I had hoped to run into you at a better moment, but I was trying to stop the tears so I could go and see Mark...

 
At 8:15 PM , Blogger gaypet said...

Here she is!

 
At 8:16 PM , Blogger gaypet said...

Well I was crying too so I guess it was OK. :)

 
At 8:24 PM , Blogger Kitty Cat said...

ahh Quichey,
i am on the surface of the water at the moment,
i see you have been busy, girlfriend,
assistanting and so on,
meanwhile i toil under the weight of the superpopular boy band that sells out 35,000 seats leaving scarce for me---it is not fair.
i know you can work magic with one hand tied behind your back...
more soon, did a little blog on road life---why aren't i home?

 
At 8:57 PM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Hi Kitty! Come home soon!!!!!!!!

Yes, that's Twig, she's pretty cool, I like her.

Blogger just ate my whole Damm post. Nearly done, adding the final thing. Gone. Fods, not sure I can write it again....AM I meant to?????????

 
At 9:19 AM , Blogger EmilyLady said...

Well Lorraine, I must say, I got tired just reading that!

I love all the stories that you tell, from those about the Bengals to those about the gigs to those about the Boss, and you are really, massively cool. I hope you and I meet someday.

~Emily

 
At 12:02 PM , Blogger Chantrelle said...

I am amazed that you can keep your Boss on schedule at all given how accommodating he is to everyone around him. When we had our lunch interview years ago (foodporn.com), it turned into a two-hour lunch and I know he had other places to be. For that I belatedly apologize but it was wonderful for me!

I do have a question, oh keeper of the calendar: the keynote in Vegas - is it an evening, afternoon or morning event? I need to know when I can eat at Nobu :)

Thanks for being so fabulous!

 
At 12:19 PM , Blogger Fabulous Lorraine said...

Hi Chantrelle,

I remember foodporn.com! Boss loved you guys, must go and play around your site some more!

Vegas, Hmm..it is an evening event, at 7:00pm. Not sure about when the signing is.

There is a Nobu in Vegas????

 
At 12:37 PM , Blogger Chantrelle said...

There *is* a Nobu Vegas! Just went to it in July. It was amazing. My son's preschool has been on break since so I haven't had time to write up the review yet. It will come. I told Neil that if he needed company for a meal there to let me know ;-) It didn't take much convincing to get my husband to agree to the trip when I suggested going back to Nobu.

 
At 12:58 PM , Blogger Fabulous Lorraine said...

I'll mention it to him,he might well, and would never turn down Nobu. (Like, who would????)

Can you send me your e-mail?

( fabulouslotrraine@gmail.com )

 
At 7:06 PM , Blogger Dread Val said...

Quiche, that's a cool glimpse into your job. :) Thanks for writing it.

Hey, on the topic of sushi in Vegas -- I went to Okada last night, and it's a serious contender with Nobu. The foie gras with eel is outstanding, and worth the trip all on its own. Seriously. And the toro... it was dessert.

 
At 7:08 PM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Yr welcome! We will have to tell Chantrelle about this. Foodporn.com is a very cool website!

Have a soft spot for Nobu tho since Iron CHef (Japan) one of the best shows ever...

 
At 2:49 AM , Blogger spacedlaw said...

Good heavens! There is a lot I need to catch up with...

 
At 11:13 AM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Oh yeah....

 
At 11:21 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is months after, but I just wanted to say how much I enjoyed reading your posts on an assistant's life.

 
At 11:27 AM , Blogger spacedlaw said...

Wanted to say that I wish I could have found the time to read your story, Phiala. Unfortunately life has been way too hectic those past few months (and shows little signs of slowing down too).

 
At 10:02 PM , Blogger Emily said...

I have to admit, even though I know it's a ton of work, I would kind of love to be a PA. I've seen Terry Pratchett's PA in action, and boy, is it ever insane amounts of hard work, but it's the kind of hard work I like. Too bad at the moment I don't know any authors successful enough to be able to afford an assistant who don't already have one. :)

I'm glad Neil has such a talented one as yourself!

 

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