Friday, July 28, 2006

I admit, my life is weird!



Sometimes, I hear my conversations and think, "THIS is a bloggable moment." I've had a lot of bloggable moments this week and the more I think about it, the more I realize I live a very strange life.

Miles brought home some cool stuff from the studio the other day...including highly corrosive acid.
Cool! I told him that would be MY weapon of choice if a burglar penetrated the compound! I went into great detail about how cool it would be to throw the whole bottle in bad guy's face and watch it melt. He was a little disturbed by my strange fantasy. But, hey at least he knows I can hold my own. Between the acid and the hell boy gun, I'd be set man! (don't we all have Laura Croft fantasies?)

Kitty is coming over today to talk photos. Wehoooo! I'm getting ready for the Alter Ego shoot. (Unfortunately this includes MORE dieting) I wonder, am I ever going to be able to eat bread again? Not as long as I work in THIS town. It's worth it though. I love my job(s)! And Lorraine kindly reminds me, "You're Hollywood fat. To the rest of the world, you're sexy as hell!" Thank GOD for Fablo and her reality checks! What would I do without her?

I called the Mortician the other day. He asked what kind of casket I wanted! I asked for Black and silver or Burgundy. BIG surprise there. I always go with what I call, "The Bruise Pallet". He's so cool. We have to do the shoot at night(YEAH BABY)because they have REAL funerals during the day. It felt like I was planning my OWN funeral. How fun! I gotta tell ya, caskets are cushy! I don't know why they put so much effort into making them comfortable, it's not like the customer will notice. Which leads me to another story....

I went to the Dr. the other day for a few routine tests. First they had to warm up my feet. (Good luck) They tried and tried....even microwaved the towels. After the first try the Dr. said, "Take a look at this! The readings can't be accurate. These results are of a dead person! Do it again" and off they went to re-do the test. After running it 3 times, I think they gave up. RESULTS: Dead, dead, dead. I didn't have the heart to tell them why....not that they would believe me anyway. Hee hee! (This is a true story) This is an example of truth being weirder than fiction.

I've been working on our LaM store, with the help of Danth our web manth. We love him! Lorraine and I are trying to find products we think you'll like. Strange, odd, eclectic things that no one ever really NEEDS, but wants just for the fun of it. Like bats head root...
.....and handmade books to put your treasures in.
..and perfume that smells like sex and chocolate. (no really!)..and of course, Graveyard dirt! No we didn't rob the graveyard without permission. I have a special friend who helps with that sort of thing. LEGALLY of course. (Although the thought of Fablo and I in black mercenary suits sneaking around an old graveyard does sound fun.) I don't think the tenants would mind. It would be the most flesh they've seen since their embalming! We'd love your input on the store. Tell us what kind of products you like, dislike and think are just plain shallow and stupid....like Paris Hilton merch. I kid I kid!

I made "Supermodel Stanzi" an outfit a few days ago. She loves to wear clothes. Although BOTH of our dogs are neutered, they still get their freak on when Stanzi wears doggie outfits. (who knew Dogs liked lingerie too?)
There IS a reason I call them PIG_DOG_BAT_FROGS!

Until next time, this is your favorite Witchy vampire chic signing off.
(photo taken from a thingie's website)

13 Comments:

At 12:10 PM , Blogger scored4life said...

What a great picture of Miles! I had a picture like that once, but my camera couldn’t capture the daemons images. I must say it was really great to meet him at Convergence. I’ve always admired his work and now I admire the man as well. You two were clearly destined for each other.

Also, yeah your life is weird! Thanks for sharing it however, as it give me new heights to strive for. This diet thing you speak of, do they make blood-lite? (Oh my, that one may have been worthy of Lorraine.) All I can say is I never have, nor will I ever understand Hollywood’s standard of skinny.

Can’t wait to see the results of the photo shoot!

Much music, merriment, and bewitching madness to all…

 
At 1:53 PM , Blogger Sherpa said...

So it's like 117 out there and your feet are cold as ice?
Women.
Nice picture of Miles and the sucubi( I think thats the plural)
Try to stay warm I guess.
(scratches head)

 
At 2:35 PM , Blogger Fabulous Lorraine said...

Blood-lite??? You slay me!

 
At 6:36 PM , Blogger Malena said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 8:29 PM , Blogger vandaluna said...

Malena...at least you don't have to worry about dying.

I love the icon of you and Miles. Way cute.

 
At 9:47 PM , Blogger Maureen said...

Stanzi is soooo adorable!

 
At 7:33 AM , Blogger vandaluna said...

Oh, wait, that icon isn't you and Miles. Dolt! I guess in the dim light of the prior evening, I didn't see clearly. :-)

 
At 7:56 AM , Blogger mistress mousey said...

Gee, Miles looks happy... wonder why. ;P That really is an awesome photo.

Here's a random moment for you: I woke up from a dream last night in which we were having a crazy slumber party at Lorraine's new digs. Malena did everyone's makeup and FabLo kept making the walls and carpetting change colours with the power of her mind. Several of us kept shouting "again! do it again!" like 5 year olds. Very silly.

And that icon of you and Neil reminds me of a reading I went to in, uh, '98? '97? Any way, people had submitted questions for the Q&A on little slips of paper. Neil got to one and read aloud "No question. I'm just here for the goth chicks."

And yes, Hollywood has its own convoluted and unhealthy ideas of what's considered "acceptably thin", which, to the rest of the world, translates to "here, have a bite of my sandwich; you look like you could use it".

 
At 11:05 AM , Blogger Fabulous Lorraine said...

I love the idea of you all being over and me changing the colours of the walls with my mind! If only........

 
At 2:22 PM , Blogger ariandalen said...

So what is bat's head root good for, besides looking cool?

As far as looks go, I'll make you a deal, I'll stand next to you and we'll get a picture taken that you can take along with you to prove that you are in no way fat. We're close to the same height, but I don't wear high heels. They're just not my thing. That, and I don't want to think what I would have to pay for them in size 11N.

And who says you can't change the color of the walls with just the power of your mind? It's just improbable, not impossible. ;)

 
At 10:39 AM , Blogger Kitty Cat said...

what a gorgeous photo, slinky devil girllllllly.
it was so great to see you the other afternoon, Mal.
we swapped readings and had salads, "hollywood fat" HAHAHA that was perfect, Fab. I love that term.
yes, i suppose we are....
preparing to go out on tour with Rob Zombie, will be sure to do regular posts with photos over on my furrytiger blog...
xoxox Kitty

 
At 12:07 PM , Blogger Malena said...

changing the color of the walls? YEah! Go Fablo! We should try that next time we see each other. Boy, does this blog have cool dudes or what?
I'm just trying to reduce the amount of "Live protein" in my diet.
And Mousey! love the "I'm just here for the goth chics"

Bats head root explanations soon to come. Promise! I'm off to Santa Barbara with Miles. I have so much to tell you. More photos coming ASAP!

 
At 3:55 PM , Blogger Malena said...

Bat's Head root is used in spells to deliver wishes.
I personally have never used it. I just thought it looked cool. Remember, you don't need anything specific to make your prayers/spells work, just BELIEF and INTENT.

 

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