Monday, September 08, 2008

I Am Not Who You Think I Am....



I am mis-understood. No one knows the pain I go thru on a daily, and nightly, basis. I have always been different, and I have never fit in. I have always known that I never would.

They laugh at me, and mock me, and say it is all in my head, and that I am not normal. This I know too well, all too well. I am not normal. I am not like the others. I am myself.

They see Carrot, most Carrots anyway, and think, ah, juice, or perhaps soup or cake. Or a light snack, in lieu of potato chips. But that it is not me. I was not born, nor bred like most of my kind.

For you see, I am a Mandrake Root, born into the body of a Carrot.



I was meant to come to life, under the body of a Hanged Man, under the full moon. A wise women should have come to me, armed with the Secret of pulling my deep rooted self from the Earth, without becoming mad from my screams.

I should have been lulled by a beautiful maiden, who would sing the Old songs to me, I should have had only to reach out and embrace her with my tendrils, and known only joy.

I should have been used, as my fellows have been for centuries, in potions, and spells, and rights, that witches, good and bad, concoct on nights when there is magic in the air. I wanted to heal. Or to hurt.

I am a creature of mystery, and enchantment and of legend!!!! This I know. Deep in my heart, and in my soul. But I live like this. A Mandrake Root, trapped in the body of a carrot, for all time. I will never know all that I can be, nor fulfill my destiny.



I turn my back on your juices, salads, and soup.

I will wait for the night I awaken.

As myself.

Love and magic, Lorraine

142 Comments:

At 7:35 PM , Blogger ariandalen said...

Hee, hee, hee, hee, hee!

I love it!
Nice job on the second photo, by the way. :)

It really was my first thought that it was a carrot that looked like a mandrake root. Truly. Though I don't think a mandrake root has ever been that orange, even uh, transformed into a carrot. But I do love it. It's a natural born dancer. What's not to love?

 
At 7:40 PM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Thanks!

The photos, by the way, were all done by Sharon, the Birdchick. No way am I that good! Especially with my no screen camera! I asked her to because I wanted them to be really good ones.

Poor thing, it is orange, isn't it?

 
At 7:47 PM , Blogger Chantrelle said...

poor carrot. I've been there. well, I've never been orange or a mandrake root... but I understand you carrot, really I do!!

 
At 7:58 PM , Blogger ivenotime said...

snort. giggle. oh. my. that is just obscenely funny. and it is on a trampoline, yes? that made my day, funniest carrot/wannabe mandrake ever. yes, dear carrot, i feel your pain, perhaps Fod would like this carrot to be the emblem of all the Fabulous Fiends here. aaahhh carrot, would that i had legs like yours...
(and Lorr, re: previous comment - where is spell ck on blogger? and you remind of peewee herman with your comment on marrying it. another snort, giggle and laugh.) I am, oddly, hungry. I need something to eat, perhaps orange.....

 
At 7:58 PM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

I thought people might well understand our Carrot....

 
At 8:02 PM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Hi SUe, yes, it is on a trampoline.

Try Firefox for the spell check, tho, sometimes it is there and sometimes not, I think. I don't think Safari has one. Wait, I am in Safari, and it is coming up. I don't know about on a PC tho, I am on a Mac.

It might well be a good emblem for the Fiends, yes?

(On my new website it is SO going to be Fabulous Lorraine and Fiends. the "And friends" never seemed right)

 
At 8:09 PM , Blogger ivenotime said...

indeed i would much rather be a fiend. I like all of us being fiends together. and the oranginess is attractive and healthy- all that betacarotene. (c'mon, let's get a movie of it bouncing on the tramp, would be hilarious)

yeah, i am on safari so, well, it underlines my misspellings, but doesnt change them for me. which, i think it should, the computer is certainly smart enough to. I get a bit mad when there are so many red underlines, it feels a bit rude. Actually, i am bone weary tired, and need to sleep, sleep perchance to dream (wish i did, i never do anymore :( , its been a long time, and i miss them)

 
At 8:13 PM , Blogger pantagruel said...

It's a Candrake! Or a Marrot. Poor misunderstood thing.

 
At 8:21 PM , Blogger ariandalen said...

I've never seen a spell check in Firefox. I tried Safari once. It was too slow, so I deleted it and went back to Firefox. I get the red underline for misspelled words, but it doesn't correct them. I get to do that all on my own. :)

 
At 8:22 PM , Blogger ariandalen said...

I like Candrake. It's obviously doing the can-can, so that makes it a Candrake.

 
At 8:23 PM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Sue, when it underlines, click on it, with the Apple or control and it gives you options. Not sure how that works on a pc..

Candrake! Poor thing!

Gaypet, Chantrelle and I are talking some True Blood privately , so as not to either give things away if you havn't seen it, or bore you to death if you don't have any interest. If you've seen it and want to chat, drop me an e-mail and we'll add you

 
At 8:26 PM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

A movie? Well, well, we can see. It might be getting a little sad, poor dear....

Venus is being REALY cuddly. As in on the couch besdie me as close as she can get with the loudest ourr ever.

This worries me....For some reason...

 
At 8:28 PM , Blogger AletaMay said...

That made my day. Beautiful!

That second photo had me laughing hard enough to make the cat jump!

I use Firefox (and love it) and my mistakes are underlined. I would not want the computer to make the changes for me. Some of my misspellings are so bad that the words the computer comes up with are not even close to the one I was aiming for!

 
At 8:42 PM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

You and m both Aleta! LOTS of times the computer can't figure out what I meant to say.....

I told it to learn Fod tho, and it did.....

Glad you liked the story!

 
At 9:48 PM , Blogger Stacy said...

Lorraine; you are so talented you make me sic! The story is brilliant & funny and I feel his wee carroty pain. *being a true carrot top meself*

Thanks again for the miles of smiles

 
At 10:24 PM , Blogger spacedlaw said...

Great pictures Sharon took!
Poor little mandrake, trapped in a body that doesn't feel like it belongs to the soul.
Well done Lorraine!
Now what will happen to our hapless little candrake?

Good mornevening to everyone, lurkers and unlurked as well.

 
At 11:17 PM , OpenID kali-licious said...

LOL I think it's pretty cute actually. Kind of looks like a mandrake attempting a graceful yoga-like movement
Birdchick rocked with the photos..the second one especially cracked me up.
Yes, life is hard when you're a carrot with Genus Dysmorphia Disorder;) (or would that be Species Dysmorphia?)

 
At 2:26 AM , Blogger Dragonsally said...

Tis a Mandrake who used too much fake tan...

 
At 4:58 AM , Blogger Jess said...

Ha ha ha! :D I love it! Poor Marrot. (Am I the only one who's fond of "Marrot"?) I think ariandalen's right. It's a natural born dancer. Or a carrot-porn star-- especially in that first photo. Dear Fod, what a pose.

Mwahahaha!

I think in Firefox, spell-check is actually something you have to download an add-on for-- I don't know how it works, so use at your own risk, but here's a link to one.

 
At 5:01 AM , Blogger spacedlaw said...

Well, Marrot makes me think of Clément Marot, so I am probably shying away from the confusion...

 
At 5:14 AM , Blogger Jess said...

Well it's obvious, isn't it? He's come back as a (wait for it) beet poet. Heh. Get it? Eh? See what I did, there?

Something tells me I should have stayed in bed.

 
At 5:16 AM , Blogger spacedlaw said...

LOL!
By the way, this what wiki is saying about yob (Wow, my instinct was the correct one!).

 
At 5:22 AM , Blogger Jess said...

Ah! Okay-- it's earlier than I thought. I suppose the abbreviated "Youth of Britain" thing came later. There's a band which goes by the name-- that's probably where I picked it up. They do that "Beer Beer Beer" song.

(Never mind us, kids. We're chatting in two places at once. :) )

 
At 5:23 AM , Blogger spacedlaw said...

Three places. What's this about "Callooh! Callay!" ?

 
At 5:28 AM , Blogger Jess said...

Jabberwocky!

 
At 5:30 AM , Blogger spacedlaw said...

My goodness, you are right too!
And to think I had
- got Rachel's comment in one (because...)
- learned the poem by heart (and in English if you please) when I was a kid!
Need to refresh it, OBVIOUSLY.

 
At 5:56 AM , Blogger Amy said...

I want to put a small pirate hat made out of newspaper on the Marrot (I like Marrot too). It looks so naked.

 
At 7:24 AM , Blogger Dan Guy said...

It's clearly the Cthulhu of carrots. Ctharrot. Cthulot. Carrulhu.

 
At 8:04 AM , Blogger Erin Underwood said...

THAT is the BEST carrot EVER!

The first picture looks like a sculpture of a dancer. Beautiful! and Twisted!

 
At 8:13 AM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Goof Morning Every one, Bonjour!

As far as what will happen to poor little naked Cardrake-Marrot-Cthulot, I think I will bury it, it only seem fair that having brought it to life, I should help it on it's way to it's dreams...

Where am I going to get a hanged man, tho...)

I'm, a little vague on what is going on at Boss's blog? He's getting an Anteater????? You SO know who is going to have to take care of it! Is this a friend for Cabal??? Sigh.

Speaking of other people's blog's, Jess and Speaclaw, you crack me up! Yes, they do go and read other people's blog's and comment, apparently, but when they REALLY want to get into a conversation about what other blog's are talking about, where do they come to do it????

Thanks you very much , they come HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Because we are the best. (she says taking a bow)

 
At 8:15 AM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Hi Erin, I saw the dance image too (was it Ariandalen who mentioned that as well?) and nearly put in a bit about that...May well yet.

 
At 8:20 AM , Blogger spacedlaw said...

GOOF morning?
Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear...
:)

Cute anteater, but I htink he'd be better left in his zoo (if not in his jungl... crumbs the milk overboiled! MAJOR goof ... in his jungle).

 
At 8:27 AM , Blogger spacedlaw said...

Re: the Cthulot...
I am sure Cinnamon would be delighted to disapprove of it.

 
At 8:30 AM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Good Fod! My typos are creating a new language. Goof away, my fiends....

That might perhaps be the answer. I could send it to the Birdchick and Cinnamon could disapprove.

 
At 8:32 AM , Blogger scored4life said...

I love it when something can be erotic and disturbing at the same time, and I think the Ctharrot, or Candrake fits the bill there. I may have to find the actual scientific name, but I bet that is more up Phiala's alley.

On the spell check issue, one of the most recent updates for the mac operating system included a constant spell check. This means that no matter what application you are using, a red dash line will appear under an unrecognized word. (Notice I didn't say misspelled, as both Ctharrot and Candrake are currently underlined.)

Good morning all! The air here is beautifully crisp and the sky is clear. It should be a fantastic day!

We are all really a misunderstood carrot in one way or another.

 
At 8:36 AM , Blogger spacedlaw said...

You are so right, Paul: I totally feel like a misunderstood carrot.
I KNEW something wasn't quite right, but just didn't know what might be at the root of the problem...

 
At 8:37 AM , Blogger Jess said...

Cinnamon would know what to do with a mutant carrot, all right: disapprove with her teeth. Om nom nom.

I believe the anteater's just being Named. It won't actually turn up on your doorstep in a little beribboned basket with a note reading "Please look after this anteater."

It is a Goof Morning. I dunno about good-- I've been wrangling with my night garden poem for two hours now and feel about ready to start banging my head on the monitor-- but definitely goof.

Misunderstood Carrots would be another good name for a band. Anyone taking these down?

 
At 8:38 AM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

HA! I had a bet on with myself that once I used the word "Naked" we would hear from Dr Score with in the hour!

I win.

"We are all a mis-understood carrot in one way or another"

That is SO going on the tee-shirt!!!!!!!

 
At 8:39 AM , Blogger spacedlaw said...

YeeeeeeeeeeeeS!

 
At 8:44 AM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Goes a long way towards explaining a lot of things, doesn't it?

Jess, keep going! It's there!

Fods, I have to get to work, I have been wrangleing e-mails all morning, and no doubt there is much to do. And it will soon be time for Frech Skyping.

Look what I can do! " `a "

(It is a French letter. I punch a Code and my computer Knows what I mean. Breakthru here, people)

 
At 8:47 AM , Blogger pantagruel said...

I don't know about the Candrake being erotic… seems like it'd snap too easily.

;)

 
At 9:51 AM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Val, I am not touching that one. You are Dr Score are on a path. Not sure what path or where it is going though, hee-hee....

 
At 9:51 AM , Blogger Rubius said...

That tuber looks a little tubescent.

I thought it looked like it was doing exersizes.

 
At 10:12 AM , Blogger Phiala said...

Paul, the scientific name is obviously Daucus mandragora. There, now the poor thing has a place in the universe! It just needs some friends...

 
At 11:11 AM , Blogger EmilyLady said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

 
At 11:11 AM , Blogger EmilyLady said...

That is one funky vegetable. How did you do it?!

~Emily

 
At 12:05 PM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

I have strange and wondrous powers, you should know this.

 
At 12:15 PM , Blogger pantagruel said...

What path? I just have a ribald sense of humor that comes out once I'm comfortable. ;)

And yes, you do have wondrous powers.

 
At 12:23 PM , Blogger Kitty Cat said...

we do indeed know of your strange and wonderous powers, Q.....
hello everyone, i am home sweet home in the treehouse, have survived my tour.
thanks for the support out on the road, you are all darlings for your kind words and funny posts....
xoxoxo Kitty Cat

ps will be posting soon, and watch for the new Graveyard Book tee @ neverwear.net

 
At 12:24 PM , Blogger Stacy said...

ok; i'm reeeeeallyy new so if I could just ask a reeeeally ignorant question? Doesn't 'The Boss' have a 'Mrs. Boss?' or is all that has to do with his 'handling' fall just to you (and apparently dan guy & his lovely daughter duet?)

 
At 12:27 PM , Blogger pantagruel said...

Kitty! Welcome back! Glad you are home in the treehouse! :)

 
At 12:28 PM , Blogger gaypet said...

OMF, mutant veg! I see the dancer in it but when it first came up I thought it looked very zombie, arms outstretched reaching for brains.

How did the banding go?

I think this was covered but I use Firefox and when it underlines a word it doesn't know I right click on it and it gives some ideas. I use a PC.

I am so tired I think I will go to bed tonight when M does. Or maybe I will just drink more coffee.

WELCOME HOME KITTY! :D

 
At 12:38 PM , Blogger arwenn said...

OMF....that's awesome!!

In addition to the t-shirts I hope someone is compiling a Lorraine Lexicon since we seem to be making up a new language here...

 
At 12:44 PM , Blogger EmilyLady said...

Ah yes ... I quite forgot about the strange and wondrous powers that make you the Fabulous Lorraine. I hope all is forgiven ....

~Emily

 
At 12:46 PM , Blogger spacedlaw said...

And for those of you who are looking into that soup business (and/or have their first cold nights): Sweet and Hot Pumkin Soup. For a taste of Halloween.

 
At 12:47 PM , Blogger spacedlaw said...

Welcome back, Kitty!

 
At 1:03 PM , Blogger gaypet said...

Hey that pumpkin soup looks great!

 
At 1:06 PM , Blogger spacedlaw said...

It is wonderful and dead easy.
And you can learn a very nice - if technical - French word: Mirepoix.

 
At 1:12 PM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Val, you and Paul SO have to get together!

Hurrah! Kitty is back! And a long and brutal road it was! Remind me to tell you of the ticket saga at some point....Sweet Quiche, she says, I'll be traveling for fun soon, can you help a poor on tour girl set this up with your magic airline skills....

Of course! How hard can that BE?

LAX-MSP-DC-PHILL-NY-CHI-MSP-DC-LAX!!!!!

Oh, I guess I just told you. Well, we are glad she is back!!!

Can't wait for the Tee, we just got the first book!

I am Boss's Assistant, and Danguy is his Webgoblin. Kitty is also his assistant with me. He also has agents for writing and film and speaking engagements. There is no lack of work for anyone.....I take care of all trips, schedule, what he is doing where and when, what he needs to do. Assist.

Yes, Arwen, someone needs to start a lexicon. I nominate you. (Teach you to de-lurk, hee-hee!

Nothing to forgive, Sweet Emily!

 
At 1:13 PM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

I second that soup! I am so making it with one of our pumpkins!

 
At 1:23 PM , Blogger arwenn said...

Eep!!

Actually that would be kind of fun... I'll put something together and email it in the next few days :) Might be a helpful sort of a thing to have on a website, one never knows...

 
At 1:24 PM , Blogger Hagelrat said...

awesome carrot

 
At 1:42 PM , Blogger Neverwhere said...

I've this post several times since yesterday, I just can't get enough of this poor, sweet, much maligned Candrake :D

You're such an incredible writer! If ever there were to be a book of short stories about the Secret Lives of Vegetables, this would be an excellent addition to the collection. ;-)

 
At 1:45 PM , Blogger Neverwhere said...

*laughs* Oh dear, I forgot to write 'I've *read* this post several times since yesterday...' Whoops. *grins sheepishly*

 
At 1:47 PM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

It will be fun, Arwen! And I would love to have it on my new website!

Everyone, meet Arwen, or new Fabulous Lorraine and Fiends Lexicon Keeper!

(Hey, I can't run this empire all by myself now, can I?)

Val, as my designated drinker, will lead the toast to you!

Hi Hagelrat! And welcome! Glad you liked it. I am kind of afraid to go out to the garden...I mean, what if there is, say, an army of them out there?

And Hello Neverwhere! Thank you! Hmm...Secret Life of Vegetables, eh? I could write that. There are weird goings on in the corn at night....

You guys are making my week, with all this de-lurking! I love knowing who is out there! Keep coming!

 
At 1:49 PM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Neverwhere, typos are not only a part of life here, hee-hee, but often incorporated into our world...Hence Arwens new job of Lexicon Keeper...

 
At 1:53 PM , Blogger pantagruel said...

If Paul and I hang out, I don't know that there would be any scotch left within a 20-mile radius. Especially considering all the designated drinking I have to catch up on. Remember that Black Books episode where Bernard and Manny get free rein of a wine cellar?

 
At 1:54 PM , Blogger pantagruel said...

Wait, I must think of a PG-rated toast.

 
At 2:00 PM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

We'll wait.

You and Paul drinking WOULD be something. I drive that night!

 
At 2:06 PM , Blogger pantagruel said...

To Arwen, Keeper of the Lexicon! May Fod keep you safe from Titivillus, and may your participles never dangle.

(Hey, my normal toast is, 'Love, Health, Prosperity, Knowledge, and Great Sex!')

 
At 2:07 PM , Blogger pantagruel said...

Heh, considering the comments on my driving, I didn't expect you'd let me drive you around again, ever, alcohol or no. ;)

That U-turn was totally at a signal, dude. And how was it my fault the semi didn't see us? I got out of the way, didn't I?

;)

 
At 2:13 PM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Well done Val!

(Both work for me!)

I always liked "If at first you don't succeed...Then Skydiving is not for you"

 
At 2:34 PM , Blogger scored4life said...

Here here! I'll accept both of those toasts, though one is clearly more my style than the other.

Okay, so we have Lorraine as DD and a few bottles of good scotch, a pile of instruments, other various implements of entertainment and no commitments for at least 24 hours. Now all we need is people who want to get together and have a party!

Though there is that pesky 1900 miles apart thingy.
Hrmph.

 
At 2:40 PM , Blogger Phiala said...

Party! I'll bring some more scotch, and more instruments.

See, I have a plan... if I give you all enough scotch, you won't mind so much when I attempt to play the instruments. Right? Lorraine, you'll just have to suffer, but I figure that anyone learning to play the pipes has got to be tough.

 
At 2:46 PM , Blogger pantagruel said...

Ooh, if we can play instruments badly at this party, can I bring my doumbek and sing?

 
At 2:46 PM , Blogger arwenn said...

Scotch makes everything sound better!!!

Plus we have wonderful new toasts which would really require a lot of drinks to do them justice...

 
At 3:55 PM , Blogger Chantrelle said...

Jeebus people, 76 comments? I wasn't away that long!

My hubby would love to join the scotch fest...i'm more of a fermented, but not distilled, alcohol kind of girl--i'm a supertaster you know--alcohol is much too much.

I make sure i only drink the cheap and dusty wine, not the clean and expensive wine though.

I can't wait to hear the pipes some more, scotch or no scotch!

We have the highland games coming here in a couple of weeks :)

 
At 3:59 PM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Paul, you are such an instigator! Now you have started a party where everyone is going to get drunk and play instruments badly!

Oh, hey, sign me the heck up! You know how much I would love that!

Heh. Hee-hee.

I am so sorry I will be out of town for it, have fun!

I do have a high tolerance for Bad, learning the pipes, but I must say, I fear this Party Of Doom...

 
At 4:00 PM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Yes, we are chatty today, aren't we? Lots going on...

 
At 4:02 PM , Blogger gaypet said...

Lechiem!

This sounds like a great party.

 
At 4:15 PM , Blogger Stacy said...

oh dear, hope my question didn't wander into the too personal or offending category. It was just curiosity as you take care of his dog, that's why I wondered.

re: Mr. Marrot; carrot soup is good; but I still like your idea about burying him/her. In the haunted night garden I'm sure we could create an effigy of a hanged man. Or; you could use an old seed packet and just draw the old 'hangman game' on it! That'd be fun watching the garden gnomes try to figure out 'letter spaces' underneath the drawing!

 
At 4:23 PM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

I may send him to The Birdchick, so Cinamin can Disapprove..

Ok, so "Cinamin" is pretty clear tho spelled wrong is what I am trying to say, yet spellcheck hasn't a CLUE...

No worries, Stacy. Assistants who talk about their Boss's personal lives find themselves un-employed, so I don't. But I do take care of the dog. Assistanting is a wacky job , hee-hee...

(And if I was ever offended, trust me when I tell you , you would have heard from me. No grey area with Assistants...)

 
At 4:30 PM , Blogger pantagruel said...

Okay, I know someone must've been keeping track of this: what are the slogans that you all have come up with for the t-shirts? I can dig through all the posts if I must, but since we probably want these before the eventual heat-death of the universe…

There is a reason I am only in charge of alcohol.

 
At 4:31 PM , Blogger scored4life said...

Well, seeing as there is a lot of travel involved, I will simply have to stat the party myself, open the scotch, pull out my guitar and play till my fingers hurt. Doesn't actually sound like a bad Tuesday night after all! I could unpack another box..... NAH!

 
At 4:39 PM , Blogger ivenotime said...

oh my dear, i miss all the fun (pouting) I love all the ideas for candrake/marrot t shirts, the lexicon, goof morning (another classic) the pumpkin soup is a must do too! welcome to all the new delurkers! and thank you all for the great advice on spellck, i am on a mac so i should be able to figure this out. sigh, what i really want thought is for the computer to read my mind and know just what i want to say. or at the very least for my fingers and brain to communicate a bit better. i do worry about dementia....as i wander off into the kitchen not remembering what i needed...what was i worried about? :)

 
At 4:41 PM , Blogger ivenotime said...

ohohoh now i remember: welcome home Kitty!!!! you were missed and i hope your tour went well - seemed like the young men are receiving a huge amount of publicity of late. hope you get to rest a bit - but arent you traveling to see Lorraine?? thought she said something about that. anyway, hope you enjoy your stay at home however brief - and hope your honey is home too!

 
At 4:51 PM , Blogger Stacy said...

I can certainly respect that! Thank you for your candor. I am truly a ditz sometimes.

 
At 5:46 PM , Blogger Jess said...

Phew! Busy busy in the thread. Okay, let's make it 89 comments: here is a night garden poem. I had to post it as an image because I couldn't indent the way I wanted otherwise. Argh. Seems to work on my end, but let me know if it doesn't show.

Blogger's Lament:

Let me know
if it doesn't show,
and then I'll cry
or something.


We are all really a misunderstood carrot in one way or another was one slogan, and I think We're all fiends here. And somewhere back at the dawn of time someone said they wanted actual Nerd Panties. I'd wear those. Heck, I am wearing those!

Pumpkin soup! Oh mama.

 
At 5:47 PM , Blogger gaypet said...

A computer that reads my mind and puts all that mess down in print would be great for about 2 and 1/2 seconds and then the nice men in white coats would be at my door making sure I no longer had access to a computer. :)

That being said, I SO often wander into a room and think "why did I come in here?"

And, by all means, welcome to de-lurkers. I still feel new so it feels odd to say, but it's just because I don't like feeling old. :)

 
At 5:52 PM , Blogger gaypet said...

Oh, Jess, that is lovely! Thanks for that.

 
At 6:12 PM , Blogger Dragonsally said...

Arwen's lexicon could be titled
"Odd to Titivillus" or should that be
"Odr ot Titivillus"

 
At 6:44 PM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Val, loved the Titivills!

Paul, Unpack? Why bother? Drink scotch and play guitar! New songs for us! Speaking of which, I forgot to mention to you, or post we have a gig Sunday....

Sue, I am right with you there!

Stacy! You are no way a ditz! It was an honest question, I gave an honest answer, all is well.

If I ever have a problem with anything anyone says, I will write to you privately about it, not to worry.

JESS!!!! Oh yes, that is truly beautiful! And we have Page Two of the Night Garden!!!!!!

I am SO getting mu butt in gear on this website!!!! We need to have a home for these!

Thank you for writing it!!!!!

Fod to Trvillus????

If my computer knows what I am thinking and mean to say, I wish it would tell me...

 
At 6:44 PM , Blogger Jess said...

Fod to Titivillus, surely! Hee hee!

Thanks, Gayle! That's kind of you to say. :)

 
At 6:46 PM , Blogger Jess said...

Lorraine, you beat me to the lexicon title! Congratulations: I award you three internets. \o/ And thank you for the kind comment also! :)

 
At 6:52 PM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Well, it's only fair, you guys were beating me to the punch all morning!

I do love that poem, I'm going to post it for my blog tonight, unless I hear screams from you in the next 20 minutes.....

Agility and the stairs to French Class have done me IN!

This was a chatty day! Nearly 100 in less than 24 hours!!!!!!!!

Give me five more before I get my blog done, eh?

 
At 6:57 PM , Blogger Rubius said...

if you google 'lorraine' and 'malena' and 'firefly' and 'thinkgeek' and 'sparkles' you should be able to find the thread about the sparkly tshirts that Lorraine wanted (or something like that). It was in the post with the think geek stuff. I am sure.

There were some slogans and t-shirts that we talked about before that... but I can't remember exactly when or what the subject was.

I still want the Nerd Panties!!!! damnit.

Love the blogger's lament... can't wait to chase the link over to your blog for the poem Jess. I am so happy you stayed here with us.

Welcome back Kitty!!!!

I'm right there with Gayle... I believe it would be a BAD thing if my computers could read my mind... imagine what they would do when the thought of upgrading crossed your brain!!! We would be faced with worldwide computer strikes!!!! The world would grind to a halt.

Here's crossing fingers and hoping the black hole DOESN'T eat us all up on Thursday.

 
At 6:59 PM , Blogger Jess said...

You're welcome to post it if you like! Though do you want me to send you the plain text? The poem as it is on my blog is actually a jpeg file right now. Let me know, and I'll shoot you an email copy or something.

 
At 7:00 PM , Blogger ivenotime said...

La, La, La, i'm number 97!! how was french today? i had irish dance today and was sad to find out i was doing a step all wrong cuz i was not kicking my butt. sigh. and i was sorta all proud cuz i thought i had finally got it fast enough. humph.

 
At 7:00 PM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Yes, please send it as text Jess, I am failing here to copy it...

 
At 7:01 PM , Blogger Rubius said...

um..just a question.. .is there a limit to the number of night garden entries we are allowed to make?

 
At 7:01 PM , Blogger Jess said...

Can do. Now-- erm-- where was your email addy again? I can't find it! :D

 
At 7:01 PM , Blogger Rubius said...

wow,... I posted when there were 91 and suddenly there were 96...

then I posted when there were 97 and my post was 100

lol

 
At 7:02 PM , Blogger ivenotime said...

nope was 98!

 
At 7:03 PM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Rubious, you will get your nerd panties, I promise you.

WHAT Black Hole on Thursday???? I have enough going on without Black Holes complicating things!

I mean, Boss is getting an Anteater, for goodness sake! I will need one of those any farms for the winter....

Sue, good luck kicking your butt, hee-hee. French goes well, tho I truly wish you could all SEE the expressions on Nathilie's face....

 
At 7:03 PM , Blogger Rubius said...

We are bigger-faster-stronger than the internets

 
At 7:04 PM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

I just saw it go from 96 to 105!! Great Fod!

 
At 7:04 PM , Blogger gaypet said...

I do feel like I need to check in between loads of laundry or I may miss something fantastic. Particularly at the end of the evening when there will certainly be more to read in the AM! I will check in again while I sit in the bagel shop tomorrow and try to write the paper that I should have written on Mon. I am actually really looking forward to the weekend when I will have some time to make pumpkin soup!

Kitty, I know that you don't know me but I thought of you often while you were on the road and I hope that you are enjoying some peace. Or raucous fun would be OK too. Just something for you to replenish.

Night all.

 
At 7:04 PM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Fabulouslorraine@gmail.com

 
At 7:05 PM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Late night and early mornings you have to think fast here. I am meant to be doing a new post, aren't I???

 
At 7:06 PM , Blogger Jess said...

Got it! Thanks. On its way.

Woo! Comment overload! Let's crash the blog! \o/

 
At 7:07 PM , Blogger gaypet said...

"I have enough going on without Black Holes complicating things!"

That is what I want on my T-shirt.

I was going to bed. Was I not?

 
At 7:08 PM , Blogger ivenotime said...

and there's more posts! yes! more posts! - Jess, lovely, just lovely. I'm in awe of those who write, and use words to sculpt images.

i too want nerd panties.

and a party would be nice.

 
At 7:10 PM , Blogger Rubius said...

This article explains some of it.... but basically there are a team of scientists who will be testing something tomorrow that could, just possibly, end up in a black hole erupting on earth.

You know... those things that swallow star systems.

It is unlikely... but Wednesday might be a nice day to tell your friends you love them.... or eat only ice-cream or something.

I heard of this a while ago but this was the article I read today in my local paper... I thought it was great.

 
At 7:11 PM , Blogger AletaMay said...

Wow. I think I have been left in the dust here. Fast moving blog warning sign is in order!

Jess. Lovely lovely poem. I will comment on your blog. So evocative. I can feel the teeth in my palm.

Kitty -- so glad to see that you have survived!

Gayle -- sleep well.

Paul -- Scotch and music playing sounds wonderful. I think I'd have to settle for Gin and humming here.

Welcome all new and delurking folk.

I think I may have started something bigger than I can chew in my night garden project thingy. It may be finished in a couple of months. O.O

I really want some pumpkin soup NOW!

 
At 7:12 PM , Blogger Rubius said...

sorry... not tomorrow... Thursday.

 
At 7:12 PM , Blogger ariandalen said...

There were t-shirts discussed during the original Fod discussion, back in late June or early July.

And, because I'm being an insecure whore, click on my name, click on my blog "Tribal Moonbeams" at the bottom of my profile, and read "Green Moon Garden" if you haven't already.

I promise you won't laugh. At least, not unless you think it's so bad it deserves laughter. ;)

 
At 7:18 PM , Blogger ariandalen said...

Oh MY FOD!
There were five whole minutes without posting that just occurred!

I just want a chance to introduce myself as one of "Lorraine's Fiends."

 
At 7:20 PM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Ok. Good tip. Black Hole Thursday. Right.

Ariandalen, is this your Night Garden Poem? You insecure Nerd you, hee-hee!!!!! I keep on losing the link, can you e-mail it to me as text???? Please?

And ok, sigh, we will have a party.

 
At 7:21 PM , Blogger Jess said...

Which reminds me, Rubius: We cna check this site to see whether the Cern Large Hadron Collider has destroyed the earth yet. :D

My hubby (who follows these things) tells me that there actually won't be any particle-collision happening for another six weeks-- tomorrow they switch it on just to warm it up. Six weeks from now, we find out if we can observe Hadron particles (or not). It's unlikely to destroy the earth at all, as I understand it-- the black hole would be too small, and not last long enough, to make spaghetti out of us.

The Doctor might show up, though! Apparently they're saying (And who are they? The Wizards?) that-- if time travel is indeed possible-- that the date we switch on the LHC would mark the earliest point that time travelers could begin visiting us. I don't pretend to understand why that is, but I'm intrigued by the idea.

*keeps eyes peeled for the Tardis*

 
At 7:21 PM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

I know five minutes...I was getting worried that this wasn't popular any more...

Send me that poem! Laugh indeed!

 
At 7:23 PM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Ok, now I am getting weirded out...How come I hadn't heard a word about this????Must chase some links and do some reading, if I ever get home again...

 
At 7:26 PM , Blogger ivenotime said...

Yey a party, yey a party! my life is DULL on the weekends, full of chores and lists, so YEY a party, and we should get to 150 posts....

 
At 7:30 PM , Blogger Jess said...

I don't think I can stay awake till 150-- I've been up since 6:00 this morning! Oog.

Thanks again for the kind comments, everybody-- that's a nice way to end the day. 'Night, all! :)

 
At 7:30 PM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

We may yet, despite the fact I have already put up another one..

Andrindalen!!!!!!!!! I tracked you down! Laugh??? Oh no, my dear, we have Page Three of the Night Garden!!!!

Truly lovely!!!!! It made my heart feel alive and lost.

By the way, there is NO time limit on this Project, it will just keep growing, is what I think...

 
At 7:31 PM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Go see your poem on the blog first Jess, then off to bed with you...Sweet Dreams...

 
At 7:44 PM , Blogger Stacy said...

Great Fod almighty! Look at all these postings! I went away to make crepes for dinner & come back to the black hole discussion. Isn't that the coolest thing ever??? We will finally get to see what 'Dark Matter' looks like! Whoot! Well, that is, if they don't manage to produce all kinds of black holes that eat up the world.

But...

what if;

they were really tiny?

and only ate up things that were that were heliotrope?

or they only swallowed up garden gnomes in cities that begin with the letter Q?

or...

 
At 7:56 PM , Blogger Rubius said...

Stacy!!! Way to send my mind a wandering!!!! I love it (and crepes too)

 
At 8:03 PM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

I'm with Rubious, I like the way you think Stacy.

Seriously, I sure had miss this whole black hole thing.

And I am thinking about Your Party, sure sounds like you ll want one. Could be done,,,could be done

 
At 8:20 PM , Blogger ariandalen said...

Don't forget that Phiala posted a poem in the comments a few posts back.

I have two more ideas for stories, one twisting a hymn, then there is the weaving to get started. Though one of the stories may well end up as a poem in ballad stanza. ::sigh:: Good thing there is no time limit.

 
At 8:30 PM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

I missed that????????????????

I think I remember the poem, and loving it, but didn't catch on that it was a Night Garden one! Phiala, send it to me!!!!!!!!!

And I am very sorry for being so dense....Things are a little wild here these days...

I don't want things slipping thru the cracks because I am harried. Send the Night Garden Things to me, yes? Because every one of them deserves some time in the spotlight!

I need an assistant, she mutters...Hmmm....

 
At 9:00 PM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Nathilie is so going to wake up to some reading!!!!

Where has K been lately? We miss you, our Scottish fiend!!!!!

 
At 9:35 PM , Blogger ariandalen said...

Fods! I forgot! K just finished her birthday (Sept. 9)!

Happy Belated Birthday, K!

 
At 10:13 PM , Blogger spacedlaw said...

74 (SEVENTY FOUR! SOIXANTE QUATORZE!) comments going bump in the night?
Good heavens. That might drive me straight back to bed again...

 
At 10:29 PM , Blogger Rubius said...

Happy birthday K!!!

Goof Morning Nat (no that was NOT a typo) don't go back to bed, join us on the thread!!

gee... that should be one of our axioms too... 'No that was NOT a typo'... considering

 
At 10:31 PM , Blogger spacedlaw said...

Happy birthday K!

Oh and Lorraine, dear, I HAVE sent you my night garden story too...
(You work too much. Work isn't good for the brain. Black holes are just NO contest there)

 
At 11:50 PM , Blogger spacedlaw said...

I'd say : Stand by your typos (might be sung on the music of "stand by your man" with a little squeezing action).
I need some TEA here.

Kristina, I was wondering yesterday if you might not be able to help Lorraine with what MAC commands are necessary to produce a bona fide à (or the accents or other weird characters like like é, è, ê, û, î, ï, ç, etc.) as she will need that for her class.
Would you have a clue?

 
At 7:47 AM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Not you too, Nathilie???I just thoguht it was cool!!!!!!! On one of my favorite themes!!!!!!!!!!!!

How much of a dork am I?????????

Ok, Phiiala and Spacelaw have sent to things too. ANYONE ELSE????

Send them to me with the message YO DORK! This is my Night Garden Story!!!!!

OK???

Stand by your typos! This is not a typo. I need tea!!!!!!

 
At 9:45 AM , Blogger Rubius said...

Nat!!! Great idea.

done and Done.

 
At 9:39 AM , Blogger The Life of Mel said...

I just came to say that this totally looks like the mandrake or whatever was put under the mother's bed in Pan's Labyrinth!
Crazy!

 
At 4:16 PM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Hi The Life of Me! You are scarily right.....

 
At 7:07 PM , Blogger MicheleRF said...

Fantastically funny!

 
At 7:08 PM , Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Hi Michelrf, and welcome! Thank you very much. I was pretty proud of that one myself.

 

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